


ErR_o#r

by Hufflepuff_Amber



Series: Glitched! AU [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Connie is the only one who knows what's going on, Disabled Character, Hearing Voices, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Multi, Pink needs a hug and lots of therapy, Self-cest, Spoilers for Episode s06e19 I Am My Monster, but only at the end, fluffly angsty smut, take a tissue for tears you'll need it, they love and care about each other and is beautifull, yeah they do what you're thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:00:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 29,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23735764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hufflepuff_Amber/pseuds/Hufflepuff_Amber
Summary: Everything was doing fine with the plan. The monster was about to be dominated as they hugged tighter and closer, heavy tear drops staining the ocean with soft glowing rose. As the creature sobbed, his body started to glow, he was close to changing back...But the emotional pressure was too much for him.The group of gems and the pair of humans could say that something was wrong on the way the monster's form was pulsing, squirming and glowing on a weird manner, until a blinding flash of light errupted from him and made all of them get back scared, Lapis grabbing Greg and Garnet taking Connie from the monster's nose, so the humans wouldn't fall for their deaths. The Cluster was fast into taking what has left from the monster.But it wasn't even near of what they were expecting.Something had gone very, very wrong.This is a story in wich one's loyalty betrays him. In wich the love hurt more than a knife. In wich feel pain is wonderfull under his embrace.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Pink Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Pink Steven Universe/Steven Universe
Series: Glitched! AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1768099
Comments: 89
Kudos: 145





	1. Sleep tight, sweet prince

**Author's Note:**

> *sigh*  
> I know I have a lot of Works to finish, but...  
> That was suposted to be a one-shot of my other work Pink Paralel, but!, it ended up bigger than the planed. Sooooooooo...  
> what can I do? I'm a sucker for that pink demon child.  
> (≧▽≦)  
> Some months ago I made a fic called "Under That Pink Veil", that was supposted to be a post-corruption story. and now I want to do other with the same spirit! But worry not, human! Me, H.A , would never repeat some plot, so there's a few changes to make it more interesting! Nyehehe! (I tried to imitate Peridot but I guess it's more like Papyrus. Oh, whatever).  
> I hope you like it! And remember, constructive criticism and suggestions are always welcome! (except for haters, then you can save it to who want to hear it).  
> Enjoy! :D

"It's stupid. He won't wake up no matter who much you bath him on your drool."

"Hey! Don't undervalue our healing powers! It took a lot of effort and struggle for us to unleash it!"

"Shut up, you brat."

"I'm not brat! I'm _fourteen!_ Only two years younger than you!"

"And a quarter of my height."

"Silence you two." Pink mumbled under a huff, not avoiding his gaze of his human half, still laid on deep sleep on his soft cushions. If he was human as well, his knees would be sore of holding him on the side of the bed for so much time, but he still wouldn't care less.

Small, as it always happened when the alpha gave an order, resigned himself to cross his arms and mutter 'he started it' quietly. Big, in the other hand, never let himself be shut without a fight.

"And who said you are in charge?" Big raised his voice, clenching his fists and towering over Pink, who still didn't stop what he was doing.

"The simple fact that you are just a voice in my head that I'm getting tired of and if I could shatter you I would've done it already. Now stop arguing with Small and let me work in peace." He groaned, staring the ghost-like figure with the corner of his eye.

Small made a face to the huge teenager, bragging silently about how Pink always gave him the reason of the arguments, like a younger brother escaping unpunnished while the older had to wash the dishes for two months. Big tensed up his muscles, his glow weaker than Pink's, a constant reminder that he was always the second in charge. Small was only a manifestation of their childreenhood trauma, powerless compared to wild instincts and megalomania implied by anger as he was, and you could ask Jasper if you doubted it. Because of _him,_ Big, not weaky Small or stupid Pink, much less that useless human half, now the close-minded warrior respected them as her diamond, as she always should have, but they thank him? No! What he receives? Losing an argument against that twerp just because Pink liked him better.

Pink had enough of it. He shook his head to send the aching thoughts away, making Big and Small disappear as if they never had been there. And, in fact, they hadn't.

The rose-colored boy was growing tired of that anoying voices on his head, that he had started to hear ever since he and his human half had been splited apart again. One to remind of all the things he tried to forget. Other to corrrupt him into a wrecking ball who just cares about destruction. Both to distract him of his main directive.

_Steven._

It was unbearable sometimes, but it was all in his head, after all. And he discovered it on the most embarassing ways possible. Like when Small was cryingnon-stop, reminding him of that time Amethyst almost died because he couldn't use his healing powers, he lost his religion and shout a furious "SHUT UP", just to see that who was there was own Amethyst, and he had to apologise when _she_ started to cry. Or that time when Big was intoxicating him with poisonous thoughts of anger and revenge and he started to pull his hair and beat on himself to stop, right before Spinel's eyes. She didn't tried to stop since it was so natural to her she thought it was something that everybody did on a regular basis when feeling distressed, and not something to talk about with a therapist.

He turned his whole attention back to the sleeping human. Or, at least, he would look like he was sleeping to an outside observer, but in fact he was like this for _weeks._ And he didn't know what else to do, since they had done everything on their power to wake him up, to no success. The only thing left to do was to let time heal.

Pink couldn't help but blame himself, even if the others didn't. Of course, he would never forget the shock faces they wore seeing him, but he assumed it has more because the fainted human on his arms than because of the glowing replica of him.

As for the others, it was 50%/50%.

He was glued to the side of the bed 24/7 (except when Big managed to take over control and he needed to get away to start breaking stuff and relieve his anger), so eventually he would need to interact with someone who came to check out Steven and take care of him.

He felt totally comfortable with Connie, since they had met before and he didn't recognized her as a threat. They had to talk about the situation for her to feel comfortable, however. She could see that he was hurting about it, there's no way he would do it on purpose, suposing that it _was_ his fault. They shared the same same feeling of affection over the human and they took care of him like one person. One would let him use they thighs as a pillow while the other carresed his face sweetly. They shared the chores and worked like a perfect machine, completely in sync.

Greg was a bit more freaked out, since he wasn't very fond of these magical matters, but the love for his son kept driving him back to that room to sing songs that he knew that he loved. Pink felt comfortable around him as well, even if the man was a bit nervous to be near him, but he wouldn't treat him with any less respect or love, he was still his son, and Rose's side of the fusion. He was always trying to talk, ask how were things doing, but the little drops of sweat were still noticiable.

Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst were another matter. They tried to keep things going on well on Little Homeschool, for Steven's sake, but they always finished as soon as they could to check him, crying all the times (Pearl more than anyone- but Greg), but Pink kept an eye on them for a reason he couldn't explain. They tried to live with his presence without issues, but it was impossible to ignore how much he resembled Pink Diamond or Rose Quartz. They seemed more focused on the human and didn't tried to interact with him so much. Pink tried to convince himself that it wasn't something personal, but their behaviour only made him feel more guilty.

He was a little bit more uneasy with Lapis, Peridot, Bismuth and Spinel, since they were former threats. Lapis didn't understand why he couldn't cure him and be done with it (believe me, he tried), Peridot was fucking scared, acting like he was a weird entity instead of the same especies as her, just because it wasn't the Steven she knew and that one was a stranger. Bismuth and Spinel were trying to be nice, but he still wasn't very friendly.

As for the Diamonds, oh, dear lord, it was a big, fat NO-NO. Blue and Yellow not so much, but White reacted like he was a sort of demon or something (her lips would force a smile but inside she was as scared as Peridot- maybe even more), and Pink would rather be shatered than to let her get close. Not after last time. His human could have been killed because of her, so he didn't understood why she was so "interested" now. The fact was the White was really feeling bad about all that and was trying to see the humans the same way he did, but he wasn't taking easy on her.

Sighing, enjoying the time alone with hils half, the pink aparition continued to kiss the human's body to relieve the ocasional pain on his wounds. He was in charge of everything that envolved Steven in such fragile state, since feeding him, cleaning and badaging his wounds (the monstruous transformation and the separation had hurt him badly) and of course, bathing him. He felt unconfortable to let the gems or Connie seeing his human body naked and despite Greg had seen it a few times, there were...some parts... who he preffered to take care on his own. Take your own conclusion on this phrase.

He had started using his tears, but some days later he moved to a new terrain. A little kiss on his hand. Another one on his elbow. One on his knee, and other near to his thigh. A longer one on his Adan's apple and two on his ribcage. Until, on a moment of experimentation, he tried one on his mouth, since it felt good when they did with Connie when they were fused (as Steven, not as Stevonnie, I mean). Now everytime they were alone, usually in the middle of the night- he didn't wanted to answer questions- , he kissed him better. It was relaxing to both of them, he could feel.

After having kissing each of the human's fingers, he started carresing the spot he knew he liked them most. The place on his tummy where it should be a bellybuttom, or on his case, a gem. Steven made a little noise at the familiar sensation, still in deep sleep, showing how much he liked it. He was so cute.

Pink checked the hot chocolate placed on the nightstand to see if it had cooled enough to don't burn the boy's mouth. Noticing it was on a acceptable temperature, he grabbed the mug to help Steven to drink. When his hand was halfaway back the boy's mouth, his whole arm seemed to glitch, almost making him drip all the contends on the sleeping teenager's face. Pink placed the mug back to the nightstand quickly as a sharp pain shook his body and he had to wait his frame to stop shivering. Lifting his shirt to glance at his gem and the disruption that seemed to grow everyday, he frowned. Nobody knew about it and nobody would, no matter how much times Connie asked why he was so weird or how much Big and Small bothered him. He savoured the pain as he kissed the boy's palm.

"I deserve this." He always repeated, again and again, everytime it happened, it was already fixed on his mind. "And I'll not fix it until you wake up. But until that, don't worry about me, Steven. Just sleep tight, sweet prince."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just if you're in doubt:  
> Small haves the form of 12/14 y/o Steven, and represents his childrenhood trauma.  
> Big haves the form of "Chad Steven", that's it, the one of Fragments, and representsnall the bottled anger and revenge feelings that was locked inside him.  
> And Pink is the gem half from Change your mind, but since his human half is in coma, all the feelings goes to him, so he gets more emotional sometimes.


	2. Trice The Fun

The all mighty power of denial wasn't proving itself the most usefull after all, because the glitches didn't stop and surprise, surprise!, only got worse.

Pink still had most of his powers, however.

And _that's_ the curse.

Because with his broken gem, his powers turned into a bomb, and Big was just waiting to light the fuse. Anything turned into reason for anger, what meant that he had to get out to relieve his feelings far from everyone more times, what meant less time of taking care of Steven, what meant more reasons to be angry. Pink felt like a hamster running on a wheel, going to nowhere, running and running on the same place.

Plus, hiding the glitches had turned into a very hard dare since an certain someone was with her eyes wide open at him.

After a long, hard session of punching rocks (he was in control enough to don't harm anyone, since he knew Steven wouldn't like it), the Diamond entered on the house, anxious to come back to his human half's side the faster he could. Opening the door, he came face to face with a suspicious Connie, her arms crossed, her foot stomping repeatly, one brow lifted on a perfect arc and her eyes half-lided. He knew that expression all too well. It was her "I-know-you're-hiding-something-so-better-start-talking" face. And he also knew that if he told her, the first thing she would do would make him get help, and he was too stuborn to stop his self-punnishment now. And she was too stuborn to let him do something like this to himself without a argument. And _both_ were too stuborn to give up on their ideals.Then he thought: What Steven would do?

"Hiiiiii, Connie! Wassup?" He smiled widely and laid on a "cool" way on the door.

Obviously it only increased her suspects.

"I'll cut you right there." She tilted her head, and he sighed. Oh, the smashing defeat.

"What did betrayed me?" He asked on his normal robotic tone, entering and going in the direction of the bathroom.

"I always know when one of you are lying. Besides, you were totally out of character." She waited on the living room while he searched what he was looking for. 

"What you mean, 'out of character?'" 

"Well, first, you never start an conversation."

"I don't see point on talking when is not necessary. And I don't like to repeat neither." He said, coming out of the bathroom with a first-aid kit on his hands. Because of Pearl, the kit had the weight of at least two bowl balls (and we're talking about he heavy ones), full of anything they would need and also what they definitely wouldn't like bubonic plague vaccines, but he carried like it was nothing.

"Yah, it got very clear last time." She followed him as he got upstairs, steppingo on the tiles while he simply walked on the air. "Second, since when you say "wassup?"

"I admit it was a shot in the dark that hit myself." He sat on the corner of the bed, starting to take out Steven's old bandages to change for new ones. Without the need of him having to say anything, she huried up to help as it was normal for their weekly ritual. He took the bandages out, she cleaned the wounds, he kissed it better, she put new bandages. His healing spit should be enough to cure on the first time, but it was taking long for some reason.

But then, traitor gem it was, he started to glitch again. His body shook as a the stinging pain tortured him once again. The kit fell on the ground with a loud tump while his figure seemed like and old-fashioned videogame. He sighed in relief when it stopped, everytime took longer to recover than the last one.

His relief didn't last long since he suddenly remembered that Connie was right there and saw everything.

"Wha- what was- WHAT ON EARTH WAS THAT?!" She shout, placing the bowl of water and the piece of fabric stained in dry blood on the nightstand and turning all her attention to the pink being.

Pink had to think on a excuse quickly. And now he would also need to effort himself to don't be caught up on her lie sensor, which was extremelly sensitive.

'FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.' He groaned internally. His human half wasn't used to swear but he wasn't there now, was he?

"It's because we are separated." He said, hoping that there was no change on his voice that would let clear he was lying. She narrowed her eyes.

"You weren't doing it on the last time." She pointed out. He swore more on his mind as he tried to think on a reply without breaking his calm expression.

"It's because it was just a few minutes. It has been much longer now."

She analyzed him for a long, long time, like she could read him like an open book. Stars, why must her be so smart?!

'Don'tpanic, don'tpanic, don'tpanic, don'tpanic....'

Her eyes landed on his belly, his broken gem only hidden by one thin layer of fabric. If her curiosity made her lift his shirt, it would all be over.

'Dontpanidontpanicdontpanicdontpanicdontpanic _dontpanicDON'TPANIC...!'_

She really thought about cheking his gem, but she wanted to believe he was telling the truth, so she decided against it.

Oh, if only she knew she would regret deeply later...

He had to hold the sigh of relief when she stopped her investigation.

They ended patching Steven up, right on the moment to Connie to come back home. Before going out, she placed a kiss on her unconcious boyfriend's lips (what made him smile on his sleep), and before Pink could realize what she was doing she had already kissed him as well.

He stood paralyzed, not identifying logic on her actions. A piece of him was secretly enjoying the act, but the main part of his mind was too confused. It just... Didn't made any sense.

When she pulled out, he decided to reveal his confusion.

"Why did you kissed me?" He asked, tilting his head. It was her turn to get confused.

"Because... I love you?" She replied, not understanding the reason of his question. 

"But you love _him_." He pointed to the human in coma on the bed. She thought he faced it as a type of betrayal.

He just couldn't understand why someone like her loved someone like him.

"You two are sides of the same person. I fell in love with the whole Steven, human and gem. Just because I love this side of him don't mean I don't love you too, silly." She carresed his face and he felt a bit more relieved.

When she left, he sighed.

He could understand why Steven liked to have her around.


	3. Mistakes had beed made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND HERE COMES THE ANGST!!!

"Didn't you already realized that they only care about him?" Big asked, his eyes dripping venom.

"Of course they do. He's hurt."

"But I bet that they wouldn't react this way if you were the hurt one."

"There's no point in being jealouss of myself." Pink huffed. This story had repeated too much for him to handle. Big had tried everything he could to make him submit to his anger, even forcing Small to make him remember all the darkest moments of his life. The worry of never being able to replace Rose Quartz, all the struggle for Jasper that only got solved by violence, White taking him out of Steven and throwing the boy away like he was a piece of thash and if Connie hadn't catch him in time he would be a goner... It wasn't helping that, because of his escapades, the gems were treating him with certain ignorance, as if he was avoiding his duty by lazyness and not to protect them from himself. He also felt they blamed him for what happened. He wasn't stranger for this feeling. He still blamed himself for they had lost Rose.

"Maybe we make them remember _her_." Small tried to help, but as always, he just realized how bad he had screwed up after the damage was done.

Pink's expression looked like he had just witnessed someone murdering his whole family, and the grip on the spoon was enough to bend it on a way that anyone who weren't a diamond wouldn't be able to bend with bare hands, but he kept feeding the boy, making him drink the soup directly on the bow.

"Hey, I think Small haves a point here!" Big smiled with malevolence when he noticed a nerve had been hit. Now it was something that he could work with.

"No, I don't have! I don't-!" Small's attempts to fix his mistake were cut out by Big and his large hand blocking his mouth. It was his chance and he wasn't going to waste.

"Of course you have! I mean, **mother** wasn't someone you could forget easily, now was her?" The huge teenager taunted, now armed with a weapon that was more powerfull than any other. His past life.

"sT0p 1t." Pink growled, his form starting to gitch so he had to put the bow on the nightstand. But Big was only starting. The _hell_ was only starting.

"It's funny, tough, that we had never considered it!" He chuckled, taking in Pink's anger like an elixir. His smile grew to see that the gem's eyes were now pitch black, fuchsia iris glowing on the slighty lit room, half dark by the soft afternoon light, diamond pupils so much like his. He just needed a little push to break. "Think in all the betrayal! All the lies! Of course they hadn't stopped seeing us like her, after all, _you are her.."_

 _"_ **I SAID STOP IT!!** " Pink's patience finally ran out and his shout eccoed on the silent house like an shot. His eyes were closed by anger and then, realization and fear. It was one of that screams... Oh stars, he didn't want to see the damage, but he needed to.

The room was a huge mess. The furniture were all in pieces, but at least the room's estructure was intact. The soup was all spilled on the floor, the bow crashed and that pretzel of a spoon fallen beside. But what filled him with terror was the human under the ruins of the bed, a quite large stain of blood running from his forehead. The diamond panicked imediatelly, what only let his glitches worse, bit he didn't care. He could hear Big's mocking voice ringing on his ears as he took the fragile, damaged, _lifeless_ body of his human half on his arms. 

"Now look at what you've done."

He didn't want to believe. It had to be a joke, right? IT HAD TO BE A JOKE!! IT HAd... it had to... it... no... nonononononono _ **no.**_ Please... please no...

HE HAD ONE JOB! ONE! And he failed! FAILED! he was a failure! He was a fucking failure who couldn't protect the one he cared the most and now he was dead and it was all his fault!

Steven's skin was quickly getting colder and colder at every second that passed by, so he hugged him closer to conserve body heat, he didn't want to say goodbye yet. The blood was running in all the directions, staining his face, his shirt, Pink's arms and lap. The smell of the blod was the worst thing he ever felt on his nostrils.

Pink couldn't even decribe what he was feeling. He felt shock. He felt sick, like he could throw up at any moment. If he was a human his blood would be running cold.

He...He had to leave. If he was able to do something like this to himself, what could he do to the others? Besides, he didn't deserve to be on the presence of a such good soul as Steven. He was a killer. A monster. But he wouldn't turn into one again, of course, what would be the point of it? The crack on his gem told him it wouldn't be long until he went by the same way, now he would just need to wait nature follow it's course and savor all the physical pain his glitches would provide until then. But there was still something he needed to do.

After having fixed all the furniture and cleaned the mess, Pink placed Steven's body on the just-fixed bed and covered him with a sheet. He could say that he was only sleeping if he didn't know the cruel thruth. Rose's dream for her son would never be fufilled all because a single, stupid moment of anger.

He was gone.

Pink petted his half's hair while placing a kiss on his forehead, now clean of all the blood. He didn't even expect his powers to work this time. A single tear of pure and painfull grief fell on the boy's nose. He passed the back of his hand on the other's cold cheek before leaving, glancing his beloved on last time with a heavy heart.

He left in hurry, ignoring completely the gems on the warp and the humans on the door. They thought about following him, but got interrupted by a groan upstairs.


	4. Everything is fine... Just not with me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A useless discovery I made!  
> You know why Rebecca didn't made other diamonds colors like purple, red or green?  
> It was because the diamonds colors (white, pink, blue and yellow) are the bases inks of a printer! With these colors you can make all the others, so their "essence" is like an ink to form gems of other colors!  
> ...  
> Shut up and start the story, Amber! Bad H.A, bad!

It took less than a second for the room be filled to the brim with anxious watchers. Even the diamonds were peeking from the window, due to their enormous size.

The boy's rapid breathing was mixed with a serie of groans, as he was efforting himself to gain conciousness. After a while of fight, his eyes opened lazily to greet the presents. He was making noises from the deep of his throat, weak, low noises, as he tried to say something.

"W-welcome back, s-stchu-ball!" Greg threw himself on his son, crushing his fragile frame with a tight hug, crying in happiness. And he was not the only one

"My baby is okay!!" Pearl pretty much squealed, joining the hug.

"We missed you, Steven." Garnet wipped a tear out before embracing him as well.

"Don't scare us like this, dude!" Amethyst was another card in the castle.

"Lapis said that you would be like this forever!"

"I didn't! I said I _feared_ him being lile this forever! You're making me look mean, Peridot!"

"Haha! I knew it! A Crystal Gem never fall without fight!" 

"Hey, don't forget about me!"

Connie was starting to worry that Steven's lungs wouldn't handle all of them crushing him, mainly by Bismuth's strong arms and Spinel's limbs surrounding them like a anaconda, plus the fact that he was very weaker without Pink, so she decided to just hold his hand. She would have time to hug him later (probably).

After some minutes of crushing bones, they finaly pulled out when his stuggles to breath turned apparent.

His noises finally got understable.

"W...who are you guys...? You... You seem nice!" He smiled widely at them, his expression meek and his voice a bit... Childish...

Obviously it was a cold water bath to all of them.

"Uh, wut." Lapis twiched her nose a bit.

"Are him serious?" Peridot asked, genuinaly thinking it was a joke.

Pearl checked if he wasn't with a fever. Mayb it was some human illness, but he seemed very okay.

Garnet adjusted her visor and sighed. She hadn't good news.

"He haves amnesia. His mind is a mess and he don't remember anything related to his traumas. As if... It was on somewhere else..."

"But he will ever get back to normal?" Amethyst asked with a worried voice, watching Steven playing absently with Connie's fingers, giggling in joy like it was the most funny thing ever. The girl, despite her heart aching, had certain experience with disabled patients because of her mother's work on the hospital, so she only smiled at him. Spinel didn't want to stay out of the fun and let him play with her elastic arms.

"This amnesia... Is like being rejuvenated? So we just need to find the missing pieces of his puzzle!" She said on a smart-ass tone.

"She's right. His brain will need help to remember."

"Then help he will have!" Bismuth exclaimed with her normal confident tone. "Wait and see, boy, you will be good as new in no time!"

* * *

'No time' was taking longer than expected. 

No matter what they did, no matter the how much they tried to bring him back, it was useless. Yes, he would sing a song along with Greg, or watch Camp Pining Hearts with Peridot or do silly things with Amethyst, but it wasn't the same.

He was learning, not remembering.

"What is wrong?" Lapis huffed, in one of the moments where the diamonds were passing some time with him, telling him again how he saved the galaxy (and hiding _their_ wholes on it -taking advantage the fact Pink wasn't around to say otherwise).

"Humans take more time than gems to recover." Peridot said, sighing.

"It had been two weeks." Amethyst whined, as patience wasn't her best virtue.

"Y-you know...". Connie started, not sure how they would react. "When he gets alone with me... he says he miss... something. Something he is not sure." 

"Something?" Pearl tilted her head. "But what would it be?"

Connie's mouth turned into a line.

"Uh... what -or better, who - is missing on Steven Universe, the HALF GEM boy...? Maybe... I don't know... A gem?"

All of them made a colective "oooooooh."

"Thinking out loud, I've not seen Pink these days." Greg rubbed his head with a bit of shame for not having realized it before.

"And without him Steven can't be himself. " The girl said.

"Then we need to bring him back." Garnet concluded.

"But where is he?" Peridot waved his arms in distress.

And the answer came from the most unexpected place.

"Oh, oh! I know!" Spinel jumped in the same place like a rabit. "Everytime I saw him coming back from whatever place, he was with twigs on his hair and dirt on his hands! Do you know where we can find these things?"

They looked at each other.

"Greg, stay here with Steven, we will be right back". Pearl said, coming out with the others, heading to the forest.

* * *

The first sign they were in the right way was a certain gem that immediatelly blocked them from going further.

"My Diamond don't want anyone getting near him." Jasper exclaimed, making continence, still as a stone.

"Jasper, Steven hadn't said he don't want you serving him around?" Amethyst asked, crossing her arms with a huff.

"My Diamond let one last clear wish to me. She...he want to be alone, and my diamond's wish is a order! And will not be a bunch of pityfull Crystal Gems who will make me disobey her- him!" The guard actived her helmet and was about to attack when, again, the unexpected walked over.

"Not a Crystal Gem, huh?" Spinel crossed her arms and strenched her legs so she would be taller than Jasper, curving her backs forward to be face to face with her. "Well, _I'm_ not a Crystal Gem. I work to the Diamond Authority, and I have a close relation with them. And I have sure that they want to see the fourth member of the quartet. So will be it, Jasper? You will really disobey _three_ diamonds? Because I can call them over here to talk to you."

Jasper looked from the frowning clown in front of her to the flabbergasted group behind, with no reaction. Finally she groaned. "I hope you all get shattered for it." And then let them pass, following from close.

"I've never thought I would say it for someone with the Diamonds on their contacts, but you rocked, Spinel!" Amethyst gave a friendly punch on the jester, who laughed. She was proving herself pretty usefull today.

"I just imitaded Pinky when she wanted something. But phew, I hope I don't have to be serious like this anymore in my life!"

The second sign was a pink, weak glow coming from the woods. 

He was close.

* * *

Pink hadn't expected it would take so long.

Despite his gem cracking more each day, it still didn't broke completely and it frustrated him. Diamonds are very hard.

He had considered breaking it himself but had decided against it. He deserved each and every moment of pain that his gem and the glitches provided him. But nothing hurted more than the memory of what he had done. He felt dirty, sick, _shattered._

Forever incomplete.

He observed the lonely forest in the top of the three he was sitting, hidden by the mantle of leafs. Looking up, he saw many dark clouds being pulled closer by the cold wind. It would rain soon.

Looking down, he saw...

Oh, _dammit!_ What is Jasper for?!

"Pink, are you over there?" He heard Bismuth's voice calling from bellow. He ignored.

"We need you to come back!" It was Peridot, the voice getting closer. 'Oh, now they want us?' Big growled on his mind. He ignored.

"C'mon, don't make we drag you." Lapis joked, the voice this time was very, very close. Of course, since she was using her water wings to lift her till be talking directly at him.

He couldn't ignore anymore.

They opened space as he landed softly in front of them, his expression more somber than ever.

"gO AwaY, aLL oF yOu." He said, his voice gitching but he didn't even care to hide. "I'M nOT CoMinG BacK."

"Pink..." Pearl felt a bit reluctant to say this name in a loud voice. It brought up too much memories. "Sweetie, there's something wrong?"

Shebwas seriously asking it? After _all that?!_

His fist clenched. He didn't want to let Big take over him again but it was already too late. It was impossible to ignore the pain he felt, stronger than anything that any of them even dreamed, the hallucinations of a bloody body asking him why he done what he done, haunting him on every moment as the blood flowed on hi body and Steven clenched his shirt with that lifeless hands of him and sobbed on that bone-chilling, warped voice, the voices on his head that made him lose his sanity each day more, making him have the most clear sure that he was the monster that atacked on that day... it was enough.

The group gasped in unisson at the sigh of his dark eyes, so much like the ones of his monster form...

Now was time to show them who he really was.

Not a angel.

Not a saviour. 

Not _Steven._

He.

Was.

A.

Diamond.

The **worst** of them.

"GO AWAY!" He shout, his screech enough to break the nearest threes and send them backwards. Noticing he wouldn't take easy on them, they prepared themselves to the impossibly hard battle that waited them. "I hAd BeeN tHerE All aLonG, And YoU JusT CoME tO mE WhEn YoU LosE HIM?! " He shout, throwing a shield with a alarming force and velocity. They managed to divert (despite it almost ripped Peridot's head out) but he kept attacking. "oR aRE yOU hERe To MAke mE fEeL eVen WorSe?! BecAuSE I hAve a SurPRiSe! THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!!"

Lapis tried to encage him with water, but he broke it like it was nothing. Spinel tried to tangle her arms on him to keep him still but just ended up being throwed on a tree. And Peridot and Bismuth's double attack ended with Spinel being smashed by a huge gem in armor. Jasper had to be dragged away the hit zone because she was only there, standing still, making continence.

"Pink, this is already out of the hand! Stop it now!" Garnet said, her tone way softer than her words, Pearl and Amethyst beside her. There they are, the three gems once again alone to save their little pink friend like the old times.

The only difference was that the little friend was the enemie now.

" I dOn"T WaNT To TaLk To YoU THrEE! YOu oNLy CaRE abOut ROsE! ThaT's WhY YoU AccEpTed TaKing CarE Of mE, WaSn't iT?! YOu eXpeCteD ThaT SoMeDay ShE WoUld cOmE baCK! YoU BLaMeD Me For HeR nOT BeiNG ArOunD!" He trembled in anger, his voice so full of poison that could kill an entire population of a country in seconds. They looked at each other, guilty expressions on their faces. So that's what him and Steven felt over all these years? "bUt GuESs WhaT? WE ARE BOTH **GONE!** " 

He lifted his arms for his last attack, using shields to keep them together and imobille, and finally sending a enormous, spiked barrier to end the problem once and for all.

"Pink! Stop it, please!" Connie screamed, her and Lion getting between the trio of gems and the killer barrier.

He immediately came back to his senses seeing the only person he trusted standing there, about to be crushed. He wouldn't lose one more.

The barrier faded when it was one milimeter close to her nose. When she realized she was safe, a sigh of relief came out of her lungs as she walked closer to him, the trio still caged.

"Pink, what's happening? Why did you ran away?" She asked, trying to touch his face, but he avoided her hand.

"I can't be there. I- I can't look at his dead face, Connie! I can't cure him. nOt KnOWinG tHaT Is My FauLt..." He trembled, and it was the first time she saw him falling over the edge, sobbing and wepping uncontrollably. "WhY ARe YoU EveN TaLkInG tO a MurDereR?!"

She got confused.

"What are you talking about? Steven is alive, and is awake." 

"WHAT."

**CRACK!**

He got paralyzed, even his glitches seemed to stop at his shock. The shields encaging the CG's dissapeared, throwing them on the ground. Connie then made what she felt she should have done much earlier: Lifted his shirt to see his gem.

His _broken_ gem.

"Pink..." She breathed, not wanting to believe. Tears formed on her eyes as her voice cracked. No, no, it couldn't be real. He... He wouldn't do something like this, lie all this time and don't cure himself... Would he? Her hoarse voice only managed to mutter one single word. "...Why?"

He seemed guilty, but before he could say anything...

**POOF!**

His form dissapeared on a cloud of pink smoke, that to a artist's eyes seemed like delicate rose petals on the wind. And where he was one second ago, only lasted the shards of a diamond .


	5. The Table Turned

Rain started to fall down from the dark sky, the cold drops wettering their hairs, bodies and faces, competing with their tears. Connie took the shards out of the ground before they got lost in the muddy surface and hugged them next to her heart, a shocked, paralyzed expression freezed on her face. Looking up, she saw Garnet, Pearl and Amethyst looking at the pieces of their child, tears rolling torrentialy through their cheeks. With shaken hands, the girl gave the shards to them and kept still, not able to move. She just watched her best friend in all the galaxy dying in front of her young eyes. It would be a terrible sigh to anyone, no matter what they had been trough.

The three gems sobbed while clenching the shards on their hands, the kid they took care for most his life, that they had seen grown up into a strong, lovable young man, now resting lifeless on the pieces. And what's worst, thinking they didn't care. The songs he sang, the lessons he thaught them, the smiles he caused, seemed lost and painfull as they tears washed the dirt out of the shards.

Peridot and Lapis clenched on each other to don't fall by the grief, Spinel covered her mouth with trembling hands, Jasper got completely stuck in place, and Bismuth tried to be strong for the team, helping Connie to get up and letting the tiny human cry on her armor while Lion licked the tears out of her face.

"Oh, Pink... we were so unjust with you..." Pearl's voice was barelly loud enough to be heard trough her whines and sobs.

"I should... I should have predict... but..." Garnet was so destroyed inside that she didn't thought she could keep fused for much longer.

"We are all blamed." Amethyst affirmed, wipping her tears with her free hand. "He was a gem... like all of us... we should have seen something was wrong... I should have seen... I had been broken before and...!"

"No, Amethyst... _I_ should have realized it sooner... But I thought he was just..."

"Stop your attempts to assume the blame, Pearl! I've been specialized in all the kinds of gems, if someone should have seen the problem it was me!"

"Shut up, Peridot! I've been cracked by ages! I should have recognized..."

"No! She was my Diamond! I should have been by her side-"

"Pinky was MY best friend! I should know that her son was-"

"QUIT IT ALL OF YOU!!!" Connie suddenly shout, getting out of Bismuth's embrace for a while. "CAN YOU FOR ONCE DON'T TURN THE WHOLE SITUATION ON A SELF-PITY SHOW FULL OF WHAT YOU SHOULD AND SHOULDN'T DO AND ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING USEFULL TO FIX IT??!!" Seeing the other's shoked expressions, her tone softened a bit. "S-sorry I..didn't want to scream..."

"No. You're right, Connie." Garnet said, cleaning her wet visor. "We... we have to... the Diamonds. Quick."

* * *

"Okay, you're ready?" Greg asked, tuning his guitar while looking at his son, who was with a shiny glow on his eyes while nooding. The man then started to play. "Let's go. 1...2...3...4...! _I know I'm not that- "_

 _"Tall."_ The teenager sang along, quite stumbling on the lyrics.

" _I know I'm not that-"_

_"S-smart."_

_"But let me drive my van into your-"_

_"H...Heart."_

_"Let me drive my van into your-"_

_"Heart!"_

_"Let me drive my van into your heart..."_

_"L-let... me drive my...van... into your... heart!"_ He clapped his hands in joy, just like he did on the first time they played, years ago, when he couldn't barely walk. Greg petted his son's hair with a smile.

Out of sudden , the door opened with a bang, Connie and Lion entering in hurry, both wet and looking like they had seen a ghost. They came up the stairs and sat on the corner of Steven's bed, without saying any word. While the boy smiled at the sight of his friend, Greg immediatelly noticed something was wrong.

"Connie, what happened?" He got even more worried when she avoided his gaze. "Where... where is Pink?"

* * *

"I would be thankfull if you told us the reason of your distress." White asked, all of then reunited on Rose's fountain once again. The Diamonds couldn't understand why all of them looked so... errg.

Well, not until Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl opened their hands. Then it was hell.

The whole place got entirely blue instantly, but her powers where nothing compared to the real tears all of them let out. It was the suffering of the era 2 all over again but _worse,_ because it was right there in front of them. And it was _real._

"We... we need your help." Amethyst sobbed, gripping the shards tightly.

"Maybe with your essences, we can fix him, how he did with Jasper..." Pearl said, her voice still weak.

They wasted no time.

Garnet, Pearl and Amethyst held the pieces together, submerging the broken gem on the fountain's water. Blue, Yellow and White, still crying inconsolably, touched the water, that got stained with their colors and mixed to the fourth member's essence as well. All the others could do was wait.

After what seemed a eternity, a pink glow came out of the mingle of hands. They waited for some seconds to have sure and then opened their hands, revealing a shiny, good-as-new gem.

But it wasn't reforming.

* * *

Connie almost fainted of relief when the gems warped to the temple, carring Pink's diamond completely fixed. She was running out of excuses and certainly didn't want to tell the cruel truth to the man. She got up immediatelly and pretty much jumped out the stairs to meet them.

"It worked!" She cheered, a enormous smile on her face.

"Not quite... He still didn't form." 

"It takes time, Amethyst!"

"Well, nor all of us takes an entire lifetime to decide with wich style of clothing they want to reform, Pearl!"

"Cut it out you two!"

Ignoring the trio's typical arguing, the swordfighter touched lighty the crystal's surface, to see if it had any reaction.

A desperate, warped, distressed voice whined on her head: P-Please... please... I need... I need it...!

And it was over.

She wondered for a second if the others' had heard it too or if he was trying to talk just with her since she would know what it meant, but in one second she was already snatching the gem out of Garnet's hands and going upstairs with an impressive velocity for human's standarts. Not answering Greg's confused questions, she shoved the gem on Steven's hands.

It immediately started glowing.

* * *

His word slowly turned from intense black to light.

Pink managed to stay on his elbows to look around. It was all dark inside his gem. But he felt... he felt...

_Steven!!_

He jolted up with one jump, ignoring the pain that still remained on his body. He had to reform, now!

But suddenly someone grabbed his throat.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, where do you think you're going, buddy?" A strong voice laughed from above and Pink's ~~blood~~ whatever pink stuff that ran on his veins ran cold.

"Big, what are you-" He tried to get free but the other's grip was too firm on him. Wasn't him just a voice on his head?!

"Did you already forgot I was a past form too? You really though I would be sitting there while you keep acting like a stupid android?! You _broke_ this gem! I think you need a time grounded here, Pinkie. Take a seat, you'll be there for a long, long time." Big said, tossing him to the side. Already weak, the smaller teenager couldn't get up, having to watch the other preparing to reform, untill...

**NHACK!**

Big looked bellow to see Small with his teeth on his arm. The kid smiled and waved, still don't letting go.

He screamed on a very high-pitched tone.

"WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" He shout, trying to shake the child off of him.

"I was a past form too! I won't let you use this gem to discount your anger on everybody!"The child squealed, still clinging on him. "And I'm not alone!"

Right when it looked like Small wouldn't manage to hold Big, another figure appeared from the dark.

"You let him alone, you...!" The huge teenager got immobilized by the strong arms of Rose Quartz, holding him back, he ringlets locks waving with the effort.

Pink was barely believing on his eyes when a gloved hand offered help to get up.

"What a mess... Let's go, my son." The Diamond lady smiled at her child, kissing the point of his nose. "I think there's no better form to fit this gem than you, huh?"

"You fill us up with pride, sweetheart!"Rose exclaimed, aplying a chokehold on Big. Small waved energically.

"Bu-bye!"

* * *

The gem started to float in the air, getting total attention from all the presents in the room. It started to assume forms, first of a skinny lady, then a stronger one, a little boy, a very bigger one, a horned creature, and finally a teenager, identical to the one in the bed. He floated gracefully for a while, magical energy waving his hair softly, seeming almost a heavenly creature, and then...

Flopped with his face on the bed, his knees hitting right on Steven's crotch and making him squeall in pain. 

Amethyst was holding herself a lot to don't laugh.

Spinel, however, wasn't very good at reading situations, so she laughed anyway. What made Amethyst laugh as well. What made Pearl scold both.

As soon Steven recovered himself from the swat on his "boy parts", he looked at the fainted figure on his lap. Something... something on that boy was making him want to bring him closer... Still a bit dizzy, he managed to drag himself to a sitting position and grab the pink one, hugging him against his chest...

Then everything returned in a flash.

His name, his memories, and something more... _Pink's_ memories.

A unimaginable pain fell on his body, making him feel like an eletric wave travelled trough his frame, his cells on fire, his organs crying and he wished someone just killed him already to end his suffering and his gem was hurting more than anything, but he didn't _have_ a gem...

And suddenly everything stopped.

Was that what he had been feeling all along?

"Why is him off like light?" Spinel asked, poking Pink's cheek, not noticing Steven's shocked face.

"He had been holding a defective form on a broken gem for a month now. Honestly, in all my years of war especialist I've never saw someone hold on for so much time. Most would shatter much earlier." Said Yellow from outside the house. "He must be like this for a time, until he recover..." He voice died when she heard the boy's whines and cries.

Steven held Pink even closer, squishing their cheeks together, large drops of tears falling on his calm, placid face, his glow not even as strong as before...

"I-I... I did it to him...! I... I forced him to turn into a monster with me, almost hurt all of you, he broke because of me and he thinks it was... _his fault...!_ I'm... I'm so so sorry guys, I am.. a terrible person..." He sobbed, sinking his face on the rose locks of his double. With his voice cracking, he started making tiny motions with his legs and arms, like a parent trying to soothe their weeping child, while singing a lullaby he hadn't sang for ages. " _I don't need you to respect me, I respect me... I don't need you to love me, I love me..."_ He sang, pressing his twin more close to his body.

"But I want you to know..." Pearl continued, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"You could know me..." Amethyst joined.

"If you change your mind..."Garnet sang too.

"If you change your mind..."Peridot, Lapis and Bismuth entered on the party.

Spinel got quiet since the only song she knew from him was "Change" and she didn't know the lyrics of this one.

"If you change your mind." Connie finished, wipping a tear out of his eyes.

He looked at them, that room of people, that was there for him, the thing he needed the most after all that time thinking he was alone... 

It would be a long, long night of tears and therapy.


	6. Stay Close, Stay With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a slight impression that some of you is still waiting the "selfcest" and "smut" parts. Dunnot worry, we'll have a good amount of in the nexts (8 and 9), and here's a little taste of it. I don't know if I'll change the rating to Explicit or Mature, probably the later since there is just two (one and half, I mean, because the last isn't exactly porn unless you're a gem), and will have a plot behind it, o'course. Well, hope you like :D  
> PS: This fic reached 57 kudos, breaking my own record! I never received so much in 22 Works, thank you guys so, so, so, so, so sooooooooooooooo much!!!!!!

Now it was Steven's turn to take care of Pink.

Good think his bed was bigger than when he was a kid, so both could lean on it. It was necessary, since Pink was totally out cold and Steven's memories got all wipped out everytime they wasn't touching, even a finger. The boy made sure to give exactly the same treatment to the Diamond than he recieved from him, even if the gems said it wasn't necessary beacuse his body was made of light. Giving food on his mouth, singing lullabys, giving all the care in the world and...

Bathing him.

"And that's it... beware with your eyes!" He said, dripping the shampoo on the other's pink hair, both sitting on the bath tub and Pink's back leaning lazily on Steven's chest. The boy, however, didn't seen to realize their position. There's no even need to say what was rubbing on what.

Pink nestled on Steven's chest uncounciously while the boy massaged his rose-shaped hair to spread the shampoo all over. Even like that his expression was extremally neutral. 

"You don't even need bath but I like to give it to you. You already smell like roses, literaly!" He laughed, sinking his nose on the croock of the other's neck, taking in his sweet perfume. Then he took a soap bar to start cleaning his body, and I mean ALL his body. Even... _that part..._ that usually gems wouldn't have but he did because he was a _too perfect_ replica of his human half.

"Gotta clean it nicely or it will get with a weird smell." He said, aplying the foam _there yeah right there,_ carefully rubbing at every surface to clean right. He still didn't realize which position they were. "Well, I guess we ended there. Now let's dry you." He helped him up, about to get out of the tube when he noticed something. "Oh, your gem needs cleaning, too!" With a wet tower, the boy prepared himself to cleam the stunning, brillhant stone.

He barely touched it until Pink had a spasm (making a noise that seemed a lot like a moan) that throwed both on the floor. And due to the weak conditions of both of them, they couldn't get up.

Luckly, someone outside heard the noise and came to check it.

Iiiiiiiiiiiiit was Connie.

And just on that moment, with both on the floor, naked, with Pink's _organ,_ betraying both of them, standing up by the stroking, that Steven finally _finally_ noticed the position they had been.

"Ehhhh... I can expla-" He got surprised that she started giggling, her voice sounding like little bells, before she went to help them, not showing him any reason to be embarassed.

She wasn't going to say that she _already_ had seen both naked because of the monster accident. Not when he was laughing with her.

* * *

"Isn't better for you both to come back to bed?" She asked, after he had inssisted to her to bring them to the catwalk outside the house. The catwalk was different: with a fluffy carpet on the floor and two beanbags, one smaller and other larger -large enough to two people-, one beside the other. He really wondered why Garnet had put it there earlier before that moment.

"I think it will be good for Pink to hear the waves. Feel the breeze too." He said, when she helped them down on the larger beanbag before sitting on the smaller one.

"Well, it's very relaxing. He seems to like you a lot, huh?" She pointed at the sleeping gem boy, who was clinging at his shirt like a new-born cub to the mother.

"He's kinda cute like this." He laughed softly, petting the other's hair with affection.

"He seemed a bit bothered when I kissed him some weeks ago, I think he doesn't like me too."

"Are you kidding? He adores you! Why do you think he makes us fuse so much? Besides, if wasn't for him, he wouldn't have met..."

"We would, but we would be smashed by a lot of rocks before I could even say my name. Buuuut I think there's a finger of his on the way we started to date..." She smiled, flicking his nose with her finger.

"Oooooow" He hid his blushing face on his hands.

"Do you remember? It was the day of the Winter Ball on my school..."

"And you said some mean girls were mocking you for you don't having nobody to take you..."

"I didn't- I didn't said that! You find it out because of Stevonnie, and I wasn't... I wasn't bothered!"

"You were grumpy."

"I wasn't! Anyways, then you said you would go with me as friends."

"It was the day I suddenly grew up! You stood one hour poking me to have sure I wasn't doing it on purpose!"

"I didn't want you to get hurt or turn into a fetus, sorry!"

"Well, I addmit I didn't want you to appear there with a childish dude and people laugh at you thinking you brought your eight-years-old cousin."

"I would never be ashamed of my first-boy!"

"The day came, and you were with a pretty light-blue dress..."

"And you was adorable on that suit, some girls even flirt with you!"

"And the faces they made when I said I was with you were the best!"

"I wanted to have a camera on that moment." 

"We danced, looking at each other's eyes, the moment was getting warmer, and our lips were getting closer..."

"And suddenly we were one."

"Stevonnie looked at the surprised faces, feeling the studants' eyes burning through their body, then them separated and we came back..."

"And you ran very, very fast to outside. When I found you you were beating your head on the wall, snow falling on your hair."

"You asked me what was wrong, and found ridiculous when I said I was sorry for ruining your night. 'I like to fuse with you', you said, placing a hand on my face.

"'It was a important night for you', you said, sniffing. 'And I ruined everything with my weirdness. Did you saw how they looked at us?'"

"'I don't care for what they think, if we were having fun. You weren't...?'"

"'No...! I- I mean yes! It's just... it's just... I was planning t-to... to..."

"'To what, Steven?'"

"'To say that I love you, Connie!' you blurted, before covering you mouth with your hands, your cheeks beet red."

"You stared at me quietly, your mouth moving but not noise coming out. I felt so embarassed... It was my first ball and the gems and dad helped me so much to have the courage, I even wished my mother was there to see her little boy... And I simply destroyed all the work they had."

"'I-I'm sorry I... I should know you- oh great, now I ruined our friendship forever!' you exclaimed, tears starting to fall through your cheeks."

"'Steven'..."

"'I'm so ashamed now!'"

"'Steven.'"

"'Damn, I just screwed up big time and...'"

"' _Steven!'_ You shout, grabbing me by the colar of my suit... and then you kissed me..."

"You gasped on my lips, but it didn't took long until you dive in and relaxed, moving your own against mine..."

"You pulled out, a playfull smirk on your face. 'You don't have idea how much I waited to hear you saying that, you silly.' You smiled, wipping the tears from my eyes, the snowflakes shinning on your dark hair like a crown. 'Now I can finally say I feel the same'".

"Your smile was brightest than any star. You noticed that I was cold, then took out your suit, covered me with it and hugged me close. 'You are so beautifull" you sighed, taking a bang of hair out of my face.'"

"You kissed me again and we ended the night on my house messing ourselves with s'mores."

"AND I almost died of shame when I saw that my parents had put a condon on my purse earlier when they find out that I would sleep at your place."

"And I wanted to bury myself when I found out that the gems had put an entire box bellow my pillow."

They laughed, and Pink groaned on his sleep. Apparently he had liked the story time.

"I just can't understand why he didn't fix his gem... it hurted too much... why would he want to suffer this?" Steven pulled the glowing being closer, a worried expression painted on his face.

"I think we will have to ask him when he wake up. I wish I had realized sooner..." She sighed.

"Don't blame yourself, Connie. He is such... a mysterious person."

"I mean since the start. I should have realized something was out when you simply asked me to marry you out of the blue, and it was right on my face when you started to grow uncontrolably..."

"Don't say that... according to what the gems said, if it wasn't you, I still would be a monster..."

She tilted her head with a smile, then came closer to caress both boys's hairs. It was about one second before Pink, still in deep sleep, pulled her arm and made her fall on them, snuggling on the croock of her neck, still holding Steven.

"I said he liked you." He smirked. She stuck her tongue out to him.

One hour later Garnet appeared to cover the sleeping trio with a sheet then went inside to call the Maheswarans to ask if Connie could stay the night. No, no, there's no swords this time. Yes, we still have condons. Ok, thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... since they simple passed from just friend on Change Your Mind to boyfriend and girlfriend on the movie (at least I think), I wanted to do a little story of how they started to date, sorry!


	7. Self-Preservation or True Care?

Pink hummed a little, forcing his eyelids open, hardly managing to greet the light of the morning. His body was numb, his head seemed to explode continously and his mouth tasted like death.

But were he was laying... it felt very nice. It was soft, warm, and something- someone was caressing him... Was him dead?

No, he _had_ been dead, he remembered, but now he was...

Wait.

Where was-

He looked at the side and he barely believed his eyes.

There he was, very much alive and seeming considerably more healty than him, Steven was smiling at him. Apparently his powers revived him, but he wasn't pink like Lars and Lion, it must have been something with their connection.

His eyes got filled with so much water that looked like someone had opened a faucet. Pink tried to get up so they could fuse again, but a great weakness wipped his backs back to the cushions, feeling like he would throw the stomach he didn't have up. 

"You shouldn't move. You are still too weak, Garnet said it will take at least two more weeks for we to manage to fuse again without problems. For now, is better for you to rest." The boy said, sitting and putting both of his hands on his counterpart's chest, to soote and to prevent him to try again.

Pink smiled. "Is still fine. After all, this way I can get to see you."

Steven didn't realized he was blushing."A-anyway, you still have answers to give, young man." He suddenly addopted a serious tone.

"And what answers do you want?" The gem side asked. Anything to keep the human's hands rubbing sooting circles on his sore body. Yes, after all that time holding a deffective form, his gem found a way to show it's dissatisfaction on his body, the marks of his most recurrent glitches apparent and painfull like kniffe cuts. Yellow said it would dissapear soon. The human sighed and looked at his eyes.

"Why didn't you fixed your gem when you found out it was broken?" 

If any other person had asked it, he would lie, hide or simply don't answer, but to Steven it was another story. It's pointless to lie to yourself, isn't it?

"Self-punnishment." The answer came out as clean as water.

Steven needed a little to process.

"W-what?!"

Pink sruggered, not noticing the boy's distress. "Yes. I swore that I wouldn't fix my gem until you woke up, but then I thought you was gone so I decided to wait until it broke completely. It was painfull, and I started hearing voices in my head, sometimes it would make me get out of control and be destuctive, and the glitches were very anoying, so it was on perfect conditions to punnish myself for turning us into a monster!" He said, smiling widely like a kid proud of the ball game they won at school. Then he looked at the other's face... he couldn't understand his reaction. "Tears. Related heavily to saddness. It doesn't makes sense. The information I gave should provoke satifaction, not saddness. Oh! That's because I can't do it anymore because it's fixed now? That's not problem. We can easily use another type of punnishment. There's some good options involving mutilation, humiliation... Now that you are awake you can watch, or even aply if you... want... What's wrong? It was... something I said?" He asked, frowning at Steven crying like Blue on full mourning mode.

"Pink, no! Why...! Why do you think you should do it?!"

"It's okay, I'm made of light, it won't pass at you when we fuse."

"I'm not worried about me! I'm worried about you! That... techinically is me but you get it... Pink, for all the stars in the galaxy, I DON't want you to torture yourself for me! It's madness! It's cruel!"

"So... did I upset you?" The gem asked, worry printed in every inch of his being. It was part of who he was, be completely loyal and devoted at his human half. Detecting a flaw on the code, a harm on his human, a failed objective, and he would enter on self-destructive mode.

Steven hugged him close, sobbing on his shouder. Pink looked at him for a second before forcing his hurt body to hug back, sighing weeks of stress out of his organism. "You don't have to blame yourself for all that. It was _my_ emotions."

"But I know sometimes you don't like your gem side. You would stare at normal people ask how would it be to... be only human..."

"I-it's not true..."

"It is... you tried to shatter White, but you wanted to shatter me. You wanted to make me pay for everything I put you trough. You imagined yourself as White and beat your own head on the wall to crash her gem, but you were on her body. You wanted to shatter me." Pink sobbed, hugging him tighter, little rivers of shinning tears flowing on his face, too sad to even put his words on a way that made sense.

It was Steven's heart who got shattered after this sentence.

The boy pulled out of their embrace and proceded to wipe out the tears of his suicidal counterpart. "Pink, I'm so sorry I made you think I felt this way... I love you. You are part of me, a part that I could never live without. You know what? Now you don't move a muscle. I'll take care of everything and do whatever you want until you get better, even if I need to give my own blood and sell my soul." He said, his trademark determinate spark on his eyes.

"You don't need to-" Pink started to say, untill Steven pressied his cheeks slighty to make him look at his eyes.

"I want to. You've doing all these stuff for me. Let me do something for you."

The pink being was silent, still processing the ask. It took forever but finally, a quiet, shy answer came out of his mouth.

"Y-Yes."


	8. Here To Serve You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven haves a problem.  
> Pink is willing to help.  
> Cost what it costs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's go, man. Now is finally the part of the promised selfcest smut, yay!  
> That's pretty explicit, so if it's not your cup of tea, stop at "The human's face got even redder" and get back reading at " His smile got completely wipped out when the gem's grip on him suddenly softened, he was starting to fall" . I'll put in bold to help.  
> ps:, sorry, last night I had a migraine. I tried to take some painkillers and get back to writting but even like this I couldn't end in one go, then it ended up delaying the chapter. Sorry again.  
> And I had to change the rating to mature, because it's only one chapter of smut. but I had put the selfcest warning :P  
> Welp, time to fuck rocks.

Pink had to admit. After all the stressfull days in wich he just wanted the ground to swallow him, it was good to have someone taking care of him. Steven could do anything he wanted to him, serve him spiders covered in hot sauce, bath him on boiling oil or lay him on a bed made of glass shards, and the pink being would feel like it was the best thing in the world. For his luck Steven wasn't sadist and really, really felt bad for having Pink torturing himself, so he treated him like a king and, just for the fact it was Steven, Pink obeyed whatever ask. He could even feed him by hand like a little puppy.

It was one of that nights where everybody was busy. The gems on the temple, his dad on the car-wash, Connie studying and the Diamonds back on homeworld. The human had recovered enough to take care of himself (or twice himself) and Pink was a bit stronger, too, managing to stay on his feet for a short period of time, but it still would take longer to be able to fuse, so they were alone in the house.

And Pink immediately noticed something was weird with Steven.

His body temperature was very high, he was sweating much. His eyes seemed to be dificult to keep open as he made strange noises and whines, and what confused Pink the most was that the human was rubbing the middle of his pants with constant focus. His pants were starting to get wet...

"Steven." He called, patting lightly his shoulder. The other, who didn't seem to be bothered in doing _that_ in front of the gem (in fact he didn't even realized), looked at him. "Are you holding to go to the bathroom?" 

**The human's face got even redder**.

"Aaah, no, no Pink.... it's... it's not pee..." Steven laughed awkwardly. "I'm... I don't know, I'm feeling hot today and... and _this_ part is very weird...I...I don't know..."

"Maybe it is what dad told us a year ago. About our body having "changes" and weird reactions when we think about someone especial... you know, want to procreate with this person." He said. Yeah, Greg had "The Talk" with them some years before, that, if you asked them, let both more confused than ever.

"Yeah, Pink, I get it. I guess that I've never felt it before for being half gem, but now that I'm human... Stars, it's no good... I wonder if Connie passes by it too?" 

Consequently, the thought of their girlfriend having to rub at her parts to get rid of the sensation made that nefarious organ twich, making Steven let out a exclamation and Pink to get more worried, thinking his human half was in pain. Because of his lack of knowledge at organic matters, he took their phone and started searching something that could help. He got at one site that seemed to have the needed answers.

"You are in something called "heat". There, I found metods to relief it." He said in reassurance, getting both on a sitting position. Steven thought they would try something like a cold shower or something, but no. Fast as an arrow, Pink tossed his backs on the pilow and had pulled his pants out in one blink. Before he could make any noise the pink boy had already pulled his briefs and released his erection, that was messy and dripping pre. 

"What- what are you...?!" He asked, red from head to toe.

"I'm doing what it says on the site." Pink said, already lowering his body to start to work, pointing at the cellphone on his side. Even with the warm breath of his counterpart on his dick making him insane, he managed to look at the screen upside down. His eyes almost came out of his skull.

"This is a porn site, Pink!! "He exclaimed, but too late, the other boy was already with an new objective (one that he wouldn't get out of his head so soon). Taking advantage of the slippery surface, he began stroking up and down slowly, until get on a pace that he felt the other liked the most. Steven tried to take his hands out, but neither he could (the grip was too firm), neither he _wanted._

"W-why are...?" He stuttered, starting to sweat and his shoulders trembling like jelly.

"The heat brings pain. I'll not stop until I get rid of your heat." Pink said, now moving to a new metod...

Yeah, that one.

The human made a peep noise at the tongue on his head, licking out the pre on the tip. Then a few kisses from the head to the base, and licks between the base and the testicles. The poor thing was so overwhelmed that he couldn't even do a noise of protest, or mutter any other actual word because _fuck_ _he didn't want to stop and he didn't know why._

Then he heard a noise that made his blood freeze on his veins.

"Pink, someone is coming upstairs." He whispered in hurry. He couldn't even think the size of the disaster that would be if someone found them like that. 

Pink just looked at him, not seeming bothered at all. "I hope you are good at improvise." He said, putting his whole lenght on his mouth, making the human gasp.

The steps were getting closer and closer. Desperate, Steven pulled the sheet and covered him up... But it was a bit useless since he was glowing.

Amethyst appeared on the stairs, and seemed confused at the sight.

"What Pink is doing here?" She asked, pointing to the pink light between his legs. Steven almost had a mental breakdown.

"Ahhh... lap nap! He's... he's napping on my... my lap..." He chuckled, trying to ignore the feeling of Pink's tongue rolling and his mouth sucking his male parts with certain enthusiasm.

"Right then, by why he's all covered? It's hot today." 

" Uh, he...hmmm..."He tapped his chin in order to disguise the noise he got forced to let out after feeling Pink's soft, warm throat in contact with his tip. "Oh, now I remember, he said he had a migraine." He hated to lie, but he had no choice on this position.

"Ok, well, me and the others are going to give an nocturne lesson at Little Homeschool. Garnet want to prepare the gems to safety at night, and I think I'm gonna go crocodile face just to ~~scare prank~~ help, but if you need something you can call or..."

"Thanks, Amethyst, good lu-ahm AH!" He gripped at the cushions as he felt releasing a load on his counterpart's throat. Pink moved so only his tip was inside his mouth and pumped the rest on his hand, basically milking him. Curses for that site! 

"Whoa, are you okay, dude?" Amethyst asked, giving some steps closer. "You're red like a tomato."

"No! I-I mean, yes, I'm okay, It's just... I think I'm with migraine too." He smiled nervously, still sending his genetic material down Pink's throat. He thought a lot about strangling him when he began playing with his testicles. 

"Oh, so you want someone to take care of you two? I'm not pretty good at it, I'll call Pearl. Pearl!!" She shout, but he shook his head viciously.

"No, it's okay, I'll take a medicine later. N-Now, it's better you go or you'll get late! You know how that agates and sodalites get bothered with delays..." He tried to change his position but just ended up getting further on Pink's mouth. He could feel the other's little laugh vibrating on his skin. Oh, he was starting to want to kill himself, literally.

"Ugh, you're right. They look like pearls, but more boomer-rish, if that's possible." She huffed. "Welp, see ya L8tr!"

"See ya!"

After she came down, he waited a little after hearing the door closing, then pulled the sheet out of his legs to murder his gem side but the vision made him blush immediately. His counterpart was with the biggest poker-face ever, a mix of cum and healing spit dripping from his mouth, rubbing the tip of his still-hard-growin with his index and thumb.

"What were you thinking?!" He hissed between his teeth, yanking the gem's hair slighty, just to warn, not to hurt. Pink licked the remain cum from his lips very casually.

"You said you would do anything I wanted, and I want you to let me handle your heat for you. Besides, I feel what you feel. I know you enjoyed." 

Steven looked at the side, avoiding eye contact. He _enjoyed._ "O-ok, but now that I came you don't need to-"

"No." Pink said firmly, crawling on the bed and laying beside him. He pressioned their bodies together, one of his hands still on his dick and the other reaching to the backside, groping him. Fucking site, he could only hope that the gem didn't thought that it was a treatment as common as a hands shake and tried to do it with other people. "It says that heat can last for a long time. And your reprodutive organ is still showing signs of sexual frustration." He pointed at the traitourous organ. Probably, the healing spit (besides having a tingling, pleasurable effect) was making him get stiff like new.

"B-But... isn't it weird to have sex with myself?"

"Don't think on it like sex, but masturbation. Is an act where you pleases yourself, isn't it?"

"W-well, yes, but actually no..."He started saying, but pink had already licked his fingers, taken a bit of his pre and was now working on his hole, gently encouraging it to open up. "Ah-ah... c-carefull..." He shivered, feeling the light being slide one, two, three fingers inside, rubbing every surface until he touched on a place that made him scream. Pink stopped in the act, thinking he had hurt him, until he found himself asking. "Again...?"

Pink didn't waste time in do so, now touching the place with more conviction and making his human half gasp and even thrust his hip on his own. Steven's moans and noises of pleasure only grew as he massaged his prostate and a very sensitive point on his dick...

For two HOURS.

Two friggin, flipping, fucking HOURS where Pink didn't even _think_ about removing his hands from that very especific positions. His pace was inconstant and sometimes he would aply more pressure or go faster or slower, making it impossible to the boy to predict or to get used. He even lost count of how much he had came, but that damned healing spit that the gem was smearing on his member was making he get constantly hard. He was storing all that white mess on a bubble. The boy was scared to ask.

When Pink finnaly let go, he panted with a mix of relief and dissapointment. Part of him _didn't_ want it to end. 

Before he could even have a little rest, that little pink demon was already acting. Steven was already half asleep and ready to end that and call that a night but Pink was determined to pratice every activity on that site, by pure curiosity and wish to get rid of his human's problem. 

Steven didn't saw it coming, just felt when something hard started to rub against his groin. He looked down...

"Oooooh... Are you ...hmm... k-kidding me?"

Pink was focused on his chore, pressing slighty his own tip angainst the other's one, smearing the boy's pre and the pinkish glowing liquid before using the mixed substance as a lube to start pumping both of them on the pace he used before, not too fast, not too slow. Steven was already seeing stars, feeling each second closer to the edge, and when he thought that he was going to have to clean a huge mess on their bodies...

It stopped.

He looked at his partner with a lifted frown, ready to say that he pulled out too early for it to work, when he saw Pink's micheavous smile, a darker shade flushing on his cheeks, and he knew that the gem knew _pretty well_ what he was doing.

Pink waited until he felt Steven wasn't about to release anymore and grabbed their members once again, this time moving faster. And right when the human was about to cum again, he stopped. And it repeated, over and over, each time the friction so delightfully unbearable and the strocking more slimy (because of the amount of pre they were leaking) and each time the hopes that that time the powerfull being would have mercy and let him release was smashed and revived by the hands leting go and catching him once again.

"P-Pink, p-please... I c-c-can't t-take it anymo-o-ore..."He sobbed at the 5° time, grabbing his arm with his hands trembling.

"You want to move to the next part?" Pink asked, his voice neutral as always.

"Ye-yes, anything, just l-let me..." Steven gripped tighter, his voice hoarse, thinking that a bit more and he would explode.

Pink flipped his human half with his backs up and Steven sunk his face on the pillows. He needed to breathe. It was good that Pink was busy doing something that he couldn't see, but he was somehow looking foward it. Unless, of course, if he tried to cage him with a chastity device or something like it.

When he finally recovered enough, a pressure on his bottom made him feel both aroused... and worried.

"Pink, are you sure?" He asked, for the first time since their sexcapade began, starting to worry about his gem's weak state. The other activities had him laid on the cushions, but what he was intending to do would bring him at a repetitive motion all while sustaining his weight. It could really hurt him.

"It's okay."He reasured, sensing his worry, patting his shoulder blades. "If I feel I can't do it, I'll pull out and end the act with my mouth. And if you feel that I'm hurting you, you'll tell me, alright?"

"A-alright.."

The Diamond lined up with the human's hole, starting to press slowly. Due to the mixture of magic and common pre on his shaft and the healing spit on the entrance, he was managing to slide just well. Steven's ragged breaths grew more rapid and shallow until he felt the other's pelvis hitting his backside. 

"Can I move now...?" He heard Pink's voice asking behind him, and he thought he heard it trembling a bit. He nooded, a little uncertain.

He felt the intruser inside him sliding out, until there was just the tip left. Then it came back in, making he bit his lip. Pink started to search the angle where he would hit the gland that had him squirming before. His effort worthed when the boy screamed and hugged the pillow under him tightly. He thought he had done something bad until he heard. "Again! Please, Pink, do it again!"

He had read on the site that dirty talking and teasing were always welcome. 

"So now have sex with yourself isn't that weird, is it?" He purred, getting closer to his face, his hands tangling on his wild onix locks. 

"Pink..." He trembled. He knew too well what he was doing. But his motions stopped just some inches painfully close to the wanted point and at that point he was _so desperate_ to release and that stupid healing spit was making him so insane and his heat was almost unbearable now...

"Why don't you be honest with me, Steven? Is bad to lie to yourself, you know? It's only what you've doing all over these months, and I know you earlier or later would need to _let it all out._ " That rose-tinted tormenter whispered on his ear, one of his hands going back to pump his shaft, on a pace that would _never_ make him cum, and the other hand traveling under his shirt to play with one nipple. He could feel the grin printed on every kiss, every lick, every tiny bite delivered on his exposed neck, the grin that knew that he was close to break with all the stimulation. "If there's something you want me to do to you, my dear counterpart, then say it clear to me." He licked out a tear from his cheeks, knowing that it wasn't from pain or saddness, but pure frustration. "Well? I'm waiting."

"OH, STARS, PINK, YOU WON! I WANT YOU TO HIT ME! I WANT YOU TO FRIGGIN FUCK ME! PLEASE, PLEASE STOP TEASING ME ALREADY!!" He shout, and was rewarded when his other half started giving it to him with gentle, slow, deliciously precise hits on his prostate, while the strokings on his other sensitive areas got faster and had him moaning and drooling, a death grip on his pillow. His moans grew louder until it turned into screams (and he could only thank the skies that the gems weren't home and the being that made his screams break walls was outside him) when a hot, goowey substance began pouring inside him, causing the same pleasurable sensation of the healing spit, exactly at the same time he squirted more ropes on that bubble of mysterious purposes.

He dropped himself on the cushions, a satisfaction smile across his face. He had to admit, it wasn't _that bad._ But he decided to wait a bit more before having his first time (fucking yourself doesn't count, acording to what he got of the matter) with Connie. For the most he trusted his life on her and could die for her if he needed to, he felt that they weren't ready for a big step as this. He preffered thousand times cuddling in the sofa while watching the movie adaptations of Unfamiliar Familiar (and hearing her curse about how Archimicarus was a falcon and not a FLIPPING BEAR, goddamit), and after the wedding fiasco, he wasn't going to give a step bigger than him.

He looked above and saw that Pink looked thoughtfull, like he was calculating some complexed equation. He was about to ask what was on his mind when on the next second he was being pressed on the nearest wall, the other still inside him, this time face to face with him.

"Pink, I-I think that's enough..." He said, trying to get free of the firm grip, but the gem had his legs wrapped around his waist, held by his arms.

"You are still hard. But if I am hurting you..."

"That's not it, I'm worried about you! Do it on the bed is one thing, but do it holding your weight and mine is too much! You can really get yourself hurt, Pink."

"It's okay, Steven. I'll stop if it gets too much for me."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

The human sighed as the other started to move, on a light, slow pace. Pink's brown twiched a little. He wasn't reacting on a so positive way than before. "There's something you want?"

Steven shook his head. "N-no, I'm... I'm okay..."

"Don't lie to me." He bit his neck with a bit more of pressure that made him gasp, then started lapping with his tongue to have sure he wasn't hurt.

"It... it will hurt you..." He stuttered, his arms circling the gem's neck, pressing his mouth on his shoulder to keep quiet.

"Don't worry about me, now talk." Pink angled their bodies, his gem pressing the other's member and sending vibrations and warming him up. He knew he wouldn't give up. He whispered something unheardable. "Talk clear."

"G-go... a little... h-harder..."

He didn't need to say twice as the slow-almost-stopping pace turned into something unbelievably fast, always aiming his prostate with hard blows that made his eyes fill up with water in bliss and made him bite Pink's neck to don't scream so loud that would be heard even on Little Homeworld.

The diamond held his chin with his thumb and index, taking him out of his shoulder, looking at him with a almost hungry expression. "If you wanted something to keep your mouth ocupied, you just needed to say. However, I'll need to give you a reminder for you to always be honest with me."

"L-like a punnishment?"

"This word is too strong, but if is that one you want to use... but for now, I've found a place for your mouth that will be more pleasurable for both of us than my neck."

Before he could ask, he found out that the place was own Pink's mouth. He got confused and surprised, but when the other's tongue licked his lips asking for entrance, he obeyed immediately. After some more minutes of mind-blowing shenigans, they finally came, Pink filling the human up with one more load of pinkish, glowing goo and Steven basicaly messing their stomaches and covering the other's gem. Drops of pink and white mixed on the floor as the boys panted, the human's shaft finally going soft, the nasty effect of the healing spit going away since the other didn't smeared it on his lenght this time.

Pink came out of inside him and used a bit of his powers to create a little plug, that stopped the liquid to leak out. "Your "punnishment is to keep with all of it inside of you until morning."

The boy (that by now was a bubbling, burning red mess) gave a little smile at the fact that apparently Pink didn't know the real impact of a real sexual punnishment. The liquid inside him caused not pain at all, actually was a very good sensation. He wasn't as innocent as his angel-face would say - he had seen the most terrible and humiliating acts on the internet, that he couldn't even believe that human beings could do it to each other. It could have been pretty worse. "Oh, you are so cruel. I hate you." He joked with a smirk.

**His smile got completely wipped out when the gem's grip on him suddenly softened, he was starting to fall...**

He managed to get on his feet and take Pink before the encouter of his face with the ground, and wobbled with him to the bed. Laying him there, he put a hand on his forehead and pulled it out almost immediatelly. He was on fire.

"Oh stars..." He said, taking a towel and starting to clean his gem, thinking that it could be the problem, but no. He got closer, facing his closed eyes, his mouth slighty open, his calm expression. It was another malfunction? Had him wasted all his energy just to please him? Had him thought that he had made something bad with him and now was on self-destructive mode again? How could him feel pleasure while his other half was forcing himself over the edge?! "Pink, Pink please wake up... I-I'm not angry at you, see? I was joking, I don't hate you!" his voice trembled as he tried to shake him awake. "Please, I need you! We need each other! Pink!"

The gem's eyes slowly opened, his face neutral. "Sorry, I guess I passed out. What did I miss?"

Steven's worry turned into anger.

"I knew it! I knew it wouldn't be good for you to forcing yourself that way, but noooo, you are too stuborn to listen! How about _you_ be sincere with _me_?! You keep doing these things and you don't even care!" He continued to scold angrily, every word whipping Pink like a lash. The angry teenager only stopped when he heard a soft sobbing and looked at his eyes, full of shinning tears.

"So I dissapointed you?" He asked, his voice sounding so sad and full of self-hate that could make someone cry their eyes out just to hear. Steven sighed, realizing that he had been too harsh, laid beside him and surrounded him with his arms, placing his head on his chest and stroking his curly, rose-scented locks.

"No, no, you... you didn't... I just got really worried with you. I thought I had lost you again. Just don't force yourself for me, ok?" He asked, and felt the other nooding on his chest. "Now it's better for us to take a bath. And... could you say why did you... that bubble...?"

"I didn't want to make a mess on the bed, I would discart later."

"Ah."

Then he placed a little kiss on his forehead to reforce that he wasn't angry, took him on his arms and headed out to the bathroom to take a long, nice bath.

And plan his revenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, even writting smut I put angst. oh well.


	9. Let us love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven gets revenge on Pink.  
> And he have's help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, another delay....  
> I got very occupied yesterday and got too tired to write, I'm really, really sorry.  
> Well, this one isn't exactly explicid, unless you're a gem (What's my case, ya know, Hufflepuff *Amber* -terrible I know)

"Hello, Steven?"

"Oh, hi Connie! What's up?"

"I'm fine, but what about you? And Pink?"

"I'm great, pretty great now, but Pink... he is out cold now."

"WHAT?! Is his state worse or-"

"No, No! Is that Amethyst made some "together breakfast" to us, but apparently he can't eat sugar... after three hours of him having the hyperest sugar rush I've ever saw, he puked on my shirt and faint on the bathroom. Now he's sleeping and I think that even if thee Cluster formed he wouldn't wake up."

"Oof, I hope he's alright. Anyways, my father gonna go to Beach City to a job today, so I'll visit you guys soon, want me to bring something to you?"

"A-actually, Con, I wanted to ask a favour..."

* * *

Pink made a mental note: sweets only fused.

It was a baaaaaaaaaaaaad idea...

At least Steven wasn't angry at him for have throw up on him, it was a good think. And after the nap, he was certainly feeling better.

"Steeeeveeen, can we watch cat videos on your cellphone please?" He asked, hugging the human's waist against his body, trying to get some comfort at his dizzyness. Due to the events of the last night, the boy blushed a little bit at the touch.

"Can it be later? Is that... I have a surprise for you!" He said, excitment dripping on his voice on a mannar that Pink felt like like a brand new dose of saccharine was injected on his veins by the ears. "You'll never guess it!"

Fuck, he was smart, avoiding to think on his "surprise", so the gem couldn't use their conection to discover. He would need to do it on the hard way.

"It envolves cats?"

"Ahh, no."

"Sugar?"

"No."

"Emperor penguins?"

"What? We- we live on a beach, why would I give you a emperor penguin?"

"I think they're neat."

Right when he was about to guess again (and pass far from the answer) a knock on the door interrupted him and made Steven sriek like a rubber duck. "Come in!"

A few of footsteps upstair later, a very familiar figure appeared carrying a backpack, that he imaginated that was filled with books.

He couldn't be more wrong.

"Hi, boys." The girl said, kissing each of them on the cheek. "Are you feeling better, Pink? Because of the sugar?"

"Yes, yes, I'm good, just a little dizzy." He said, closing his eyes at the relaxing company. "I don't think I can move right now." 

"Really?" She said, laying beside him, with the other human was on his other side. "You know, Steven told me about what you did yesterday. I found it a little strange but okay. And he told me he wanted to do something to you."

Then Steven whispered on his ear.

"And she is my reinforcement." 

Pink's eyes snapped open immediately.

But it was too late, the duo had already lifted his shirt, revealing his stone. 

"Wha-what are you doing?!" He asked, his neutralness fading like salt on the water, a beautifull tone of rose spreading on his cheeks.

"You've doing so many things for me, let me this one for you." Steven said, stroking his hair to comfort him.

"And I want get revenge on you for almost making me have a aneurysms on that forest." Connie added, taking the backpack with a little smirk.

"What exactly...?" Pink was starting to get worried.

"You know..." Steven put his hand on the backpack and pulled out a brush and a bottle of water with a grin." That weird man with that flying rainbow tiger said that I should... polish my gem twice a year...

Pink started to get really hot.

"There. I got this site to explains how to do it." She said, putting her cellpone on a way the three could see. Pink's blush grew darker.

"These images are very obscene."

It were literaly rocks being washed.

"First we need to wash it... here it comes." The boy said, dripping a bit of water (with a towel under the Diamond to don't make any mess) and rubbing the brush on a slow, circular motion that made the poor gem shiver, biting his lip.

"It is very sensitive, isn't it?" She asked, sliding slowly a finger on the skin around the shinning rock, feeling the goosebumps of the owner.The two humans looked to each other and then to him, with a tiny smile. Pink was wondering what they were about to do when they started kissing the stone, making him let out a exclamation and grip the cushions with such strenght that they had to intermingle their fingers on his so he wouldn't rip the fabric.

"Now is time to sanding. It says that hard stones takes more time to be polished, and Diamonds are the hardest, so I guess we'll be here for some time..." Steven said, slowly, very, very slowly, starting to pass the sandpaper on the gem, making him pant at the "stimulation".

Connie, however had another plan in mind.

Her small hands passed softly on the wound marks of his glitches, creating a painfull, yet addicting sensation. Then she experimented playing with one nipple. She didn't know how he would react, because the anatomy of gems and humans are very different and gems's bodies were just ilusion, their sensations of pain were decreased (mean, they could be stabbed and would be a-okay a few minutes later), and probably of pleasure as well. But by luck, Pink's body functions were an almost perfect copy of Steven's, so he twiched at the touch. She gave a giggle.

While the male part of the duo was sanding, she approached from the gem half. He was starting to sweat.

"Pink, I-I need to know. Everytime I get close to you, you seem to be unconfortable. There's something wrong?" She asked, passing her hand sweetly on his cheek, the other hand still carresing his chest.

"N-no. W-why would it be?" He asked between pants. Steven had already changed to a thiner sandpaper to get rid of the risks and he was reacting like a change to a new sexual toy.

"Because you seem to cower when I touch you, like was avoiding it. Just... why?" She asked, a worried tone on her voice.

Silence.

More silence.

Then finaly.....

"I'm not the one you fell in love with."

Both looked at him with surprise, while he was somber.

"He's the sweet one. The lovable one. The one who worry about other. And I... I'm just a killer machine with only one good directive. I'm not good enough for neither of you." He said, exposing the poisonous thoughts that had been making him lose his sanity bit by bit when his human half was still in coma, thoughts that shouted to him that, without Steven, he was useless.

"Pink, that's not true, I was there when you appeared the first time, I saw-"

"Saw me almost breaking White and the others?" He huffed, biterly.

"No, I saw the smile that lit up your face when you two got together again. You care, Pink, I know you do."

"Care about myself, you mean."

"Can you just stop belittleling yourself?!" His human half exclaimed, starting to lose his patience. "Stop acting like you don't have a value" We are a team, me and you! Yes, we are separaated now, but I am you and you are me, the only difference is that you have powers and I don't and okay, I admit that you are a little inconsequential, mainly when it envolves your well being, but it doesn't mean you are a badder person than I! I'm not perfect and I make mistakes, so why do you think you can't?!"

They kept in silence for sometime, until Pink began to laugh.

They got confused. Majory of people don't laugh after being scolded.

"Oh boy, I'm such a boomer, ain't I? I Totaly ruined it with my edgy teenager drama, I supose? "He said, a sad smile printed on his features.

He just didn't expected the malicious smirks of the other two.

"What are you talking about?" Connie asked, tracing a line of kisses, from his neck, to behind his ear, to his forehead, to his cheek, to his jaw, to his lips, still playing with his right nipple, while the left was being licked by the other human, who was moving to the next stage of the polishing.

"We are here exactly to make you feel better." Steven purred, dripping a bit of varnish on the gem, who moaned a bit for the cold sensation, and started rubbing circles with a piece of leater with one hand, the other pressing at... another place.

Pink sighed at their attentions, finally, finally feeling ... okay. 

"I love you two."

"We love you too." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, I'm with some problem with plot, so if someone want to make a suggestion, requests are always welcome!! :D  
> Ps: I was thinking about doing another work with the High School AU, whathya think?  
> 


	10. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HOOOOOOOOOO, boy, what can I say?  
> I've been reading it again and I realized I left behind a lot of untied knots to solve...  
> Actuly I didn't want to end with 9, I was planing to do more but I was lacking plot so...¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> Anyways, I'll also re-write some points to correct some spelling errors and explain better some parts that I think that need it. Thank you for your patience and sorry for the misunderstood. I hope you like it! :D

"Oh God... Oh God no, no, no..." The human mewed, his frame shaken by agonizing sobs while the world seemed to crash down under his feet.

The city that once he knowed as his home was engufied by flames, the disgusting smell of smoke and death invading his nostrils and making him choke. On his knees, he was reducted to observe his colorfull life turned into ashes within seconds. Shards of all the colors, red, white, purple, green, blue, rainbow crashed under his heels, and two corpses, one of a huge man and other of a young girl, laid each in one side of him, their lifeless hands with a firm grip on his ankles, like chains to punnish him for the mistakes he had commited, staining his legs with blood.

On his hands, were delicate pink shards, wich he tried to put together again, even if his trembling hands made the job harder. His hands bleed as the shards cut his skin, but he was determined to put together the most painfull puzzle ever.

"C'mon... C'mon... W-we... We can fix it, c-can't we? We just... We just need t-to use our power and h-heal all of them...! I-It's easy, r-right?!" His voice craked as he talked to the shards on his hands, laughing in denial, sobbing in ilusion. 

He felt someone putting a hand on his shoulder. With high hopes, he looked, expecting see someone, anyone.

But he was alone.

Then the ghost whispered on his ear, a voice that he knew too well.

"But it was you who broke me, don't you remember?"

He felt a weird weight on his lap, something that wasn't there before. Hesiting, he took a look.

It was something that the definitely saw before. Was a box with a handle bellow, a star painted in the top. In one of the sides of the box, was a drill.

A drill strong enough to break a diamond.

The monster roared.

* * *

"AAAAH!" He screamed, sitting up in the bed, his chest aching, cold sweat dripping down his forehead. He looked around, the familiar vision of his room comforting him. It wasn't real. Everybody was okay. "Oooh, stars. Pink, you won't believe in what I just-"

His voice died to see the state of his other half. Barbed wire wraped on his limbs, nails and broken glass spiked on his backs, a knife transpassing his skull, a dark pink liquid covering him up.

"Oh, you're awake." He greeted, a sick smile on his face. He had a hammer and a stake on his hands. "Just in time. I was wandering if you wanted to join me on a round of 'Break the gem'? Let's see if you can shatter me this time!"

* * *

Distant voices.

A nightmare.

More voices.

Another nightmare.

The voices got louder.

The nightmares got worse.

"Steven!!" 

It brought him to reality. And the reality was Pink (totaly okay and no hurt) shaking him awake, a little frown on his neutral face.

He immediately started to cry.

"Calm down." The gem side said sweetly, trying to soote him down with a hug and some light taps on him backs, something their father used to do when they were younger. But it didn't work this time as the sobs only grew louder and louder. "Please, calm down." He tried again, to no sucess. He hated to see the human like this. He had been having nightmares since they got together(the gems had told him). But somehow, he knew that there was one way to settle him down, even for just a while.

He pulled out of the embrace an started to move away from him. 

"W-what are you doing?" Steven asked, confusion and fear of the answer mixed on his voice.

"It's for your own good." Pink said firmly, going faster to end with this already, but the human grabbed him arm, refusing to let him go.

"NO!!" He shout, tears falling more intensily, his sobs shaking the other's arm his undescritible despair. "Don't leave me! Don't run away from me again! I NEED YOU!!"

It hurted more than anything for Pink, seeing his human like this for something he did purposefully. But he was firm on his decision.

"No. No you don't."

He let go.

Steven's expression immediatelly changed from overwhelming despair and saddness to blank, and then to a calm, numb smile.

"Hey, you look exactly like me, but pink!" He giggled, like it was the most funny thing in all the multiverse. 

Pink stood out of the bed, looking at him with guilt. His memories could have been erased, but at least he was calm now. He would give it back to him when he felt it was the right time.

The naive human strenched his arms for the pink apparition, his chubby hands on a grabby motion to make the stranger get closer. For some reason, there was nothing in the world that he wanted to do more than to touch that person.

The person gave one step backward.

"Uh?" He couldn't understand. Why the pink twin didn't want to play? Had his said something to offend him? Had him been mean to him? "C-c'mere, c'mere!" He pled, trying to reach the pink boy with every ounce of his being. Nothing mattered more than to take him in his arms.

But Pink, with a heartache, but a rigid, almost cruel expression of a adult taking a toy of a kid's hands, not only get more away from him, but also made a barrier to separate both.

The boy in the bed started to whine softly, at the knowledge that the gem didn't like him and didn't want to play. What had him done wrong?

The truth, however, couldn't be more different from that.

"With or without me, he gets hurt." He sighed, going downstairs to take a glass of warm milk to help the human to sleep. He couldn't sense his nightmares, only fell what he was feeling because of him. At least, on the un-memory state, he wasn't suffering as much as before.

"Oho, well, here we go again." A voice, a voice that he haven't hear for weeks, ringed on his head with a laugh.

"Big." He growled, his trembling hands shaking the glass full of milk. "My gem is fixed. You should go alway."

"Ah ah ah. Who said it was something from your broken gem? I'm a virus that you can't get rid of, sweetheart. As long you have anger, I'm here. As long you have pain, I'm here. As long as you sacrifice yourself for that pitifull human's sake. I. Am. HERE."

"Sorry, Pink, he forced me!" Small squeaked.

"Fuck." He said. He gasped in horror when his hands turned into claws, the glass shattering and the hot milk spilling all over him. "Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!" 

He fell on his knees, holding his chest in pain, the whines of the human getting louder.

Then a angel stroked his hair.

"Hey, buddy." Lapis knelt down to him, her water wings covering him like a wet sheet. She took him on her arms and hugged his shaking figure. He hugged back, didn't said a thing. He didn't need. "Yeah, yeah, I know... It hurts, but it will get better. Run away won't solve anything." She said, patting his backs, observing his hands getting back to normal.

Eventually, he calmed down enough to her to guide him back to the bed, the barrier faded away and the human seemed excited to reunite with the gem.

Once she laid him on the bed, Steven hugged Pink like a teddy bear, a satisfaction smile spreading bigfer and bigger.

"Lapis, can... Can you let us alone?" Pink asked, holding the human protectively. She wanted to make questions but maybe it would need to wait until morning. She didn't want to force him.

Once she went alway, Steven chirped in joy.

"We're gonna be best friends! Do you like donuts? We can make sleepovers and watch movies together and... And... I mean, I-if you want... What's your name again?"

The gem carressed his cheek softly. He felt he would need to hold his memories for some more time. At least, until he got strong enough for them to fuse again.

"It's seems wonderfull. And... You can call me Pink."


	11. A Brand New Problem

As always, well orchestred plans haves theirs fails.

And this fail was something so, so apparent that Pink _definitelly_ should have predicted. Even Padparadscha and her delayed visions would have predicted it better than him.

Connie once again was visiting the duo, on the morning of the first day of Steven's new "condition". He was sleeping on Pink's chest with a calm smile, hugging the gem like a pillow, no traces of nightmares or discomfort. It was a cold, rainy day, and both boys were with matching long-sleeved flannel blouses, one navy blue and other fucshia, and she was using a loose holiday sweater and three blouses, her mother didn't wanted her to get a cold. However, she had taken out most of the layers and now was just with a dog-chopter themed long-sleeves.

"He is very serene. I guess is the first time in a while he haves a good night of sleep." She said, happy to know that his dreams weren't haunting him anymore. The dreams he had told her could be on a horror movie, and probably would be banned on a few countries.

"Mm-hm." Pink didn't want to lie that way, and he had sure that his human half would get furious when he found out what he did, but it was to a greater good. "I am certain that he's free of his worries now..."

"What do you mean with-"

Before she could finish her frase, destiny found a way to ruin his life when the sleeping human suddenly woke up.

And then the shit happened.

"Oh, It's that cute girl!" Steven smiled, letting Connie surprised and Pink frightened. He tried to cover the human's mouth but Steven apparently thought it was some game, then grabbed his hands and started playing with his fingers, pressing his hand against his cheek and kissing each fingertip. "Did you saw this guy? He's just like me, but he glows and is pink! I wonder if there are other versions of me of other colors, like blue, or yellow, maybe white..."

Pink wasn't looking at her, but he could feel Connie's burning gaze staring at him.

"Why do I think that you have something with it?" Her voice was the most poisonous thing he had ever heard. Even White's anger attack was nothing compared to her tone. When she looked at her, she was with the same dark, killer expression of Dr. Maheswaran when she was pissed off. Like mother, like daughter.

"..." Pink tried the most he could to hold the truth, while Steven was still oblivious to the situation.

She sighed. It wouldn't be good to force him. He was still sensitive and delicate due to the happenings of the last month. She wasn't going to win him with intimidation.

"Pink..." She whined with a sad look, trying to win by compassion.

His expression was still neutral.

"Pi~nk..." She softened her voice, maybe being seductive would be better.

Nope. Still neutral.

" _Pink!"_ Her patience runned out and she exclaimed with anger.

His neutrality aura intensified.

"Okay, you forced me to do it. I wanted to spare you, but you are forcing me to use me secret weapon!" She said, threatening. Small hands pressed slighty his cheeks and she touched her nose on his, making her best puppy face. "Pretty please?"

"Stop, stop, it is too much." He said, waving his hand frantically. She wasn't expecting it would work, victory! "I took his memories back." He answered with all the world's simplicity. Sha wasn't expecting this answer, despair!

"Y-You WHAT?!" She choked, but before she could strangle him, Steven clapped his hands like a toddler watching a magic show.

"Now with me, please!" He pled in excitment. She understood what he meant, pressing his cheeks and touching his nose with hers. He giggled in joy.

"Pink, why the heck you did it?!" She asked, still on that position.

"I had no choice. He was too stressed and hurt beacuse of everything that happened, I was worried that he would snap someday. Without memories, without suffering."

"But this... this is wrong!" She said, letting go of the position when Steven went to play with Pink's locks, admiring how they were shaped like roses and had a sweet fragance. "Y-You can't... you can't hold his memories like this!"

"Why?"

"B-because...!" She didn't had an answer. She had never imaginated that a situation like this could really happen. She just felt it was wrong.

"Besides, it doesn't affect me at any way." He lied. "I'm not hurt at all." He lied again. "There's nothing to worry about." Another lie.

She bit her lip. "Pinkie, you know I love you, and I really, really wanted to believe in what you're saying, but I also know you both all too well and everytime you tell me to don't worry, there's a spaceship crashed on your yard, you're growing uncontrolably and your gem is friggin broken."

"There. Look." He said, lifting his shirt for her to see his gem, completely whole, no cracks or disruptions, glowing lightly. "See? I'm okay."

"And how exactly you think the others will react when they discover Steven haves the brain of an un-memoried 5-years-old-child?"

"I have sure they will understand. Is better for him to be on this state than to suffer with all the weight of his memories. When we fuse again, we will face them together. There's no fails on the plan."

"Oh, I don't know. My spider-sense is bipping." She groaned, not satisfacted with his decision, but she couldn't force him to change his mind. If there was someone who knew Steven better than anyone, it was Pink. But she had a terrible feeling about it.

"Hey, hey!" Steven suddenly exclaimed. "I will get us some snacks to us, so we can watch funny videos all day! L-let me just..." He started to move out of the bed, until she pressed a hand on his chest to keep him in place.

"No, no, sweetie, let me do it." She smiled to him.

"Okie-dokie!" He chirped.

Before going downstairs, she launched one last "I-have-my-eyes-on-you" glare to Pink.

"I'm telling you, I ain't hiding anything!" He said in reasurance. When she finnaly came out of view, he lifted his sleeve to check the dark mark forming on his forearm. It seemed under control, but for how many time...? "Nothing... nothing..." He told more to himself then to her.

Her heart told her to trust on him, but her head had sure that something was wrong. For their friendship's sake she followed her heart.

It was bounded to be her downfall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, I guess I'll soon be updating my SUF/SVTFOE crossover fic, check out anytime to meet my gemsona "Catty" Rubellite :3 !


	12. We're Going Down, Down

It was a peacefull, quiet morning on Beach City. The citizens, used to the aleatory and supernatural, greeted another beautifull day as it seemed that the calm would extend for the whole day, maybe the whole week, month, or, how it never happened, year...

But, as destiny loves to go against your expectations, a loud, discordand, sinistre screench sounded on the silent city, making the nearest sparrows, seagulls and alley cats get alway the faster they could to escape the eminent danger. That scream was so alarming, so unreal, so... _not human..._

"YOU DID WHAT?!" 

It was Pearl.

If Pink knew they would react that way, he would have poofed himself for that day until they calmed down, but it wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

It all started that morning, when the two boys would be doing their habitual physiotherapy. Cursed be that terribles thoughts invading his mind once again. He had left a fustration groan and a wave of dizziness hit him, throwing the sore, sleep deprived gem on his human half's arms. 

"Howdy! Pink buddy, did you tripped? You want me to call the stone-ladies over there?"

And obviously he had some explanations to give.

And they didn't like.

He couldn't look at Connie's 'I told you so' look burning his backs.

"You can't understand. He will suffer with his memories on." He tried to justify, but they weren't having it.

"Yo, you rose-tinted psycho, you may can be his other half and whatever, but it doesn't give you the right to do something like this!" Amethyst growled, serious as she haven't been in a long time.

"That's right, give Steven back!" Peridot clenched her fists. "If you _really_ loved him you would let him be himself!"

Pink launched his most poisonous look to the green dorito, who cowered in fear. "NEVER say this ever again."

"Then prove you love him giving his memories back." Lapis crossed her arms.

"Is because I love him I'm doing it."

"This isn't right, pal." Bismuth tried to put a hand on his shoulder but went away from her.

"As a fusion, you need to face your feelings together or you will fall apart. Put too much weight on only one side will unbalance the harmony you have." Garnet went edgy once again.

They started to approach him, not really planing to use violence. But that wasn't the best state to mess with Pink... He immediately entered on defensive mode, summoning a barrier that pushed them away, letting them groaning in pain on the floor.

Steven got scared. How that boy who seemed so friendly could do it to them?

He runned to the furious gem, clenching his arm, screaming in despair.

"Stop! You're hurting them!"

"Stop! You're hurting them!"

Pink ceased his attack. On that grey world, his shinny eyes landed on the only source of color but himself over there. A young girl carried hardly a chubby boy, and he seemed so weak, he wasn't going to survive for long.

He walked slowly at them, while the girl gave large, trembling steps, one objective in common.

Reunite.

He looked at the boy, looking back at him with tears in his eyes and a shaken smile, and took his fragile, cold body on his arms.

_Situation: Danger_

_Remained Time: Uncertain_

_Loyalty: Stable_

_Emotions detected: Fear, pain, discovery, happiness, **love.**_

He hugged him, laughing and laughing, and soon he was laughing too...

A hand gripped his arm and his instincts talked louder.

His body acted on his own and his ~~hand~~ claw cut the air so fast that he couldn't even see it happen.

He could only see Steven's body hitting the ground.

He could only see the bleeding scrach on his left eye, his other one full of fear.

He could only see the blood that covered his claws, the skin of his arm not longer bright as day, but now dark as night....

"S-Steven..." He tried to get closer, intending to use his powers to cure him, but his hand got slapped away.

"Don't get near me!" The human shouted, anger boiling in his veins, observing how the always neutral personality looked at him in shock and regret. "I thought you were a good guy, but you isn't! You hurted my friends! You hurted me! You didn't deserve all the time and care we dedicated you! You... you are a mean guy!"

"Steven!" Connie scolded, surprised by his behaviour. If he had his memories, he certainly would see something was wrong. But it wasn't the case, and the attack only continued

Pink only stared, not able to mutter any word. Paralyzed.

_Situation: Agressivity_

_Remain Time: Unknow_

_Loyalty: Faded_

_Emotions detected: only **hate.**_

The gem sighed, his broken heart hurting more than anything. Big and Small screamed on his mind, one trying to be louder than the other, but he wasn't listening. He didn't care.

He walked alway, so hurt, so hurt. He didn't stopped when the gems tried to hold him back. He didn't looked back when Connie called his name. He didn't replied when Steven's furious voice screamed:" That's right, go alway! Nobody want you here, you freak!"

He walked faster, and faster, and faster, until the world around him were nothing but blurs. He runned on a inhuman velocity, his feet nor even touching the ground, heading to a place where the poison pulsing on his heart and infecting his gem wouldn't hurt anyone.

His form was glitching once again, but this time it wasn't a broken gem.

Finally, he stopped, so the darkness of the chosen place could swallow him and he could be one with it.

If Steven was happier without him, then Beach City wouldn't have nothing more to him.

Nothing more...

No...nothing... m..more...

No... more...


	13. Blame Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just passing to say that I already updated the previous chapters, on May 4, so, check out if yo want (I just corrected some spelling mistakes and put one or other extra stuff :P)

Steven tried to ignore.

It wasn't worth to think so much about such a mean guy.

But his thoughts kept coming back to the same place, over and over. Where was him? _I don't want to know._ What was him feeling? _I don't care._ Was him in danger? _...shut up._

He had been weaker lately. Very weaker. All the progress he had achivied got back to zero. He would need help to do the most basic things, like eat or bathe, and since the gems were searching Pink around the ~~globe~~ galaxy, Greg was once again staying at the temple-house to take care of his son, besides the frequent visits of Connie.

All the gems were in alert. The CG had comunicated the Diamonds to search Pink on Homeworld while they searched on Earth. Every rock, every crystal, since the simplest ruby to the noblest agate were determined to find the fourth diamond. They couldn't take the risk of him being shattered again. The least thing they needed was a Era 4.

"He must be a very bad person if they want to arrest his so much." Steven had said one day when the team of gems once again warped to some aleatory point of the planet, more to convince himself that Pink wasn't worthy to invade his mind so often.

Greg looked at him, without knowing what to say. They had told him that his memories were gone again and that, apparently, he didn't wanted to see his counterpart even if the gem covered himself with gold and ice cream, but it was still too much to process. "They don't want to arrest him, son. They want him to come back to home. Come back to you."

"But I don't want him to come back!" The teenager replied, pretending that the emptiness inside him didn't decreased with the idea. "He... he hurted me... and I don't care if he's the only thing that can cure me!" He shout, pointing to the eye patch on his left eye. They had tried to use Rose's water but it didn't worked. Apparently, only Pink could fix the damage he done.

The man put his guitar on the bed and stroked the boy's curly hair with a sigh. If Pink wasn't found soon, and if Steven inssisted in hating him for too long, a lost memory would be the least of their problems. They managed to let his health stable per hour, just like the last time, but on the two times, they could observe that Steven's state was rolling down the cliff every day, getting more weak, feeling dificult to stay awake, he wouldn't be able to hold his life for much longer. The last time they took two weeks to bring Pink back, but they hadn't been searching him. Now, with all the gems and humans from Beach City looking at every alley and every abandoned bulding, it was almost three weeks without even a clue.

He was about to say something but right on that moment the gems warped back, wet from head to toe. Connie had helped them with the search this time, and she was mounted on Garnet's backs, her expression as disappointed as the other's.

"He wasn't on the Mask Island." Lapis huffed, crossing her arms.

"Or under the sea." Peridot took out her boots to remove the water inside them.

Pearl delicately picked up Connie from Garnet (despite the girl affirming that the gem didn't need to bother herself with it), wrapped her like a burrito on a towel she took from inside her gem and them placed her beside Steven. She needed someone to take care of to distract her from her worries, that, damned her be, Amethyst reminded anyways.

"Is useless!" She plopped on the coach, her face between her hands. "If we hadn't find him already he must be..."

"Don't be negative, Amethyst! We will find him!" The Bird Mama said, shoving a thermometer on Connie's mouth, ignoring the girl's protests of 'I'm not sick'. "Humans are prone to diseases when they get wet and cold." She muttered, a hand on her forehead to check if she had a fever.

"Amethyst isn't being negative, she's being realist!" Peridot slammed her hands on the table in frustration. "We should have found him already if he isn't a PILE OF SHARDS!"

"Peridot!" Garnet exclaimed, since the other gems were with throats clogged with the idea of repeating the forest-inccident.

But before the situation turned into something wild, Steven's low voice asked, shyly: "W-what you mean, shards?"

All of them looked angry at Peridot, who at that point wished that she could burry herself on the floor and come back to her origins, but then Greg raised his hand.

"No, guys. He need to know." He said, turning to his son and putting a hand on his shoulder. " Champ, I know you're angry at Pink, but believe me, he Isn't a bad guy. He let himself be shattered because of how much he loves you. And be shattered is like dying to a gem."

"And he only attacked us because he thought we would force him to "make you suffer" with your memories." Added Lapis.

"And if he think that you don't need him anymore, he may enter on self-destructive mode." Bismuth, as always, said something she didn't calculate quite right.

Steven's eyes widened in horror, the idea falling on his shoulders like a anvil and his blood freezing over. His breath didn't seem to come out as it should. "So... i-if he... d-dies... it's my fault? I... I made him k-kill himself? And h-he just wanted to protect me? A-and I said all that horrible things? Then I... Then _I_ am the mean guy!" He exclaimed, covering his face with his hands, his tears falling on his palms, his shoulders shaking violently with each sob. Before someone could do something, he started getting out of the bed. "I... I need to find him and say I'm sorry! I.. I need to... ack!" He groaned in pain when his weakness made his body hit the floor. Connie quickly helped him sit and let him lay his head on her chest, embracing his pale, sweaty body. 

Greg knelt and put a hand under his chin to make the boy look at him.

"No, buddy, you need to be here and rest. But _I_ will join the search and help bring him back to you."

The teenager's eyes sparkled.

"Really?

The man smiled and nooded. 

"Really."

"Really?" Pearl asked with a nervous smile. He didn't had _idea_ what Pink was able to do if he wasn't on his plain state of mind and she had sure that lose his gem side _and_ his father on a roll would break Steven completely.

"Yea, really." Greg stood up, walking to the team of aliens. "I don't care if is dangerous. I rip my chest apart for my son. Ans plus, Pink ins techinically my son too, so if he's in danger I want to be there to help.

Pearl looked at Garnet, who made a 'OK' gesture with her hand. She sighed and agreed. "Then Connie stay here to take care of Steven. It will be good, so she won't get sick."

"For the fifith time, I'm not sick!" The girl replied, helping her weak friend to get on the bed again. "But don't worry, he'll be on good hands, I promise."

"Okay, but now we need to think on another place to search, and the options are ending." Said Lapis with a frown.

"Let's think." Hummed Bismuth. "Where would you go if you wanted to disappear from society and gemkind and never be found again?"

Then Peridot and Amethyst looked to each other, pale as ghosts.

"D-do you think..."

"Of course... how didn't we tought about it earlier...?"

"Where?" Asked Greg, starting to get worried.

They looked at him, uncertain if he would handle.

* * *

Kindergarden.

There's a better place in the world for a hurt, poisoned heart then a scary, abandoned dead land with macabre machinary and endless darkness?

"Will her keep following us?" The ex-rocker asked, pointing to and certain gem * cough cough Jasper*, walking silently behind their group."

"She's been doing it at every place we look at. She go away when we're about to leave. It's creepy." Said the quartz, looking at the soldier with the corner of her eye.

"I can hear you!" Yelled Jasper."

"Good! _That_ was my intention!"

"Silence." Garnet cut them, looking around the sinistre place. "We are not alone."

"What?!" Peridot grabbed Lapis' arm in fear. "What you-"

As it was it's cue, a low, feral, frightening growl sounden on the silence of the dead village, making the old injectors fall to the ground on a mechanic hell.

"Didn't we.. didn't whe cleanse this place from corrupt-"

Pearl's phrase never got complete as a titanic, dragon-like creature came out of the darkness, it's figure seeming to have came out of a nightmare. Shiny spikes covered all it's dark body and it's tail, wich was shaped as a rose. Rose petals formed a mane around it's neck, and it's diamond-shaped claws and horns glowed like stars. Where on a dragon you would expect a pair of wings, there was two claw-like extra members, that it used to push the rocks away. Acid dripped from it's mouth and eyes, and literally the jewel of the crown, a pink gem glowed on it's torso.

They all got paralyzed. So all this time he was...

"M-my... My Diamond?!" Jasper chocked in absolute fear.

Greg took a trembling hand to his chest. "P-Pink?"

The creature used one of it's front paws (His ex-hand) to wave slighty at his father.

Garnet ~~exploded~~ unfused, Ruby taking Sapphire on a protective instinct, neither of them taking their eyes out of the monster.

Amethyst and Bismuth got their mouths moving, nor an understable noise coming out.

"That's the part where one of us faints?" Peridot asked, her eyes big as plates, her pupils small as grains of sand.

"Leave it to me." Said Pearl, before falling like a tree.

"Welp." Lapis sighed, still not able to move. "Here we go again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooo! So, what did you think about my first digital art on this site? Isn't that good because I don't have a tablet or something like this to draw, so I had to draw on paper and then use a app to paint, and since I don't have a pen to use on my cellphone I had to use my finger, so it's a little bent (Also I suck at backgrounds).  
> But I liked a lot and I'm thinking about putting more on the next chapters :3  
> Obs: Pink's corrupted form is diferent from Steven's because since he isn't half-human anymore, it won't get his traces. Or something like that.


	14. Monster In Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY ZIRCON 100 KUDOS!!! MOM I'M FAMOUS!!  
> Thanks so, so muuuuuuuuch, guys! You're awesome! :D

Three days.

Three days without any news. Well, only one, where Pearl texted that they were okay, but they would take longer than expected and asked if Steven could stay on her house while they were out.

The deal was that Pryanka would be out on a doctors conference and Doug would be working overtime for that week. Connie was more than mature enough to be left alone, but the couple was a bit concerned that she would be not only taking care of herself, but of a full-of-hormones magical teenager too. But after seeing that the poor boy hadn't strenght enough to even point at his genitals and was with the brain of a toddler, they accepted, letting some money for emergence, their cellphone numbers to call if he got worse, and a first-aid kit that was about the size and weight of Pearl's (giganormous).

Well, he _had_ got worse. But she couldn't call them, they wouldn't know what to do and there was only one thing that could save him now.

When he wasn't crying, he was sleeping. And right after he wake he would start crying again. He was feeling more pain, more distress, more emptiness. Everthing that Pink or the others helped him, she would do. Feeding him, bathing him, dressing him, well, you got it.

"S-something must have happened if they aren't here, right?" He asked, while she dried his tears and gave him some soup. "Wh-what if... because of me... all of them are..."

"Don't think like that, Steven. I have sure that they have a good reason." She said, scraching behind his ear, trying to don't think negativily. She had to be positive for him. "Maybe... Maybe the warp broke an they have to come walking and- what are you doing?!' She chokked when he tried to get out of the bed. Quickly, she grabbed his wrists to hold him on place as he tried despairly to get free.

"Let me go! I need... I need to find them! I need to find Pink!"

"Like _hell_ I will let you go!" She exclaimed, surprised with her own reaction. She never swore. "If you go out on this state wou will be dead within five minutes!"

"I don't care!" He stated to sob. "I don't care if I'm going to die! I made Pink sad! And i-if he... he s-shatters h-himself..." He couldn't finish his phrase as violent coughs errupted from his chest, making him spit a bit of blood.

She looked at him with worry. It didn't matter if he got out or stood there, it was clear that if he and Pink didn't fused soon, his days - he coughed even more blood- his _hours_ were numbered. 

She sighed and let go of his wrists. "Okay, but I'm going with you." Blood dripped slowly from the wide smile he gave. "But we need to know where they-Oh! I can track Pearl's phone from the last mensage! It... it can't be a so bad place, uh?"

* * *

It could.

Connie had heard Steven and the gems talking about Kindergarden millions of times, but even on her worst nightmares she couldn't imagine that had an place on Earth so dark and terrifying, but guess she was wrong. She could sense the boy's panic too by the way he held her waist while both were mounted on Lion, exploring the abandonated hell of machines. Without his memories, it was like doing it for the first time all over again.

"Tell me everything's gonna be okay." He said, on the tinyest os voices. "Tell me that we'll find Pink and the others and they'll be all okay."

She put a hand on his cheek and kissed his forehead. "Yes, it will."

"Liar." He murmured.

"What?"

Then Lion seemed to caugh something with his nose and started to run faster, making the humans cling on him with more strenght.

They stopped and..

Oh. OH DEAR LORD NOT AGAIN.

It was a enormous monster. She didn't even need much help to put two and two together to guess who it was, but Steven...

"Oh no! That dragon ate Pink!"

"... no."

"Pink is... behind the dragon?"

"Try again."

"... Are you sure it didn't ate P-"

"The dragon IS Pink, pal." 

"........aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

It took about ten minutes for him to calm down.

When he finally did, they observed closer. All the gems were surrounding him, even the other Diamonds and Spinel (the Mega-Diamond was parked not far from there), but the creature... it wasn't reacting. It was just laying on the ground, a meek look on his eyes, as if it was only expecting the end of this all.

"Why is him like this?" The boy asked, extremaly worried.

"It looks... like he doesn't have a reason to fight. All that motivaded him... is gone. He's dead inside, not living, just existing, ready to greet the sweet embrace of death." Connie said on her fanfic-ish way to talk. Then she realized that it wasn't helping, so she motivaded Lion to get closer.

Greg, Bismuth and Lapis were on a corner, while all the other gems tried to make the monster come back to normal, saying that it was okay and they were there for him, but it wasn't working. The man was saddly eating some bread that the gems brought him since he didn't wanted to leave his son, and the blacksmith and the water-bender were trying to comfort him.

"Dad!" Steven squeaked and the man immediatelly looked up. And frowned.

"What are you two doing here? You can get hur-" His furious-concerned-dad-scold got interruped by the swordfighter.

"Mr. Universe, Steven is very worse. I don't think he will resist to see the sunset! He need Pink immediatelly! How is him?"

"Welp, not pretty good." Bismuth rubbed the back of her neck, trying to laugh through her distress. "But hey, he's still better than the day her took in a whole bottle of antidepressants when Steven was in coma, and then got hyper high and even tried to stab himself-" She only noticed Connie's gestures to stop when it was too late.

"He did what?!" Greg and Steven reacted, horrorized.

"Bis-smooth." Lapis huffed.

"Anyways, we need to talk to him. Let's go, Steven." The girl said, picking the teenager with certain dificulty (the others offered help but she said she was okay) and started to walk to the monster's face. 

The gems got surprised that they were there, but it wasn't time for explanations. Connie's look said everything they needed to know, each of them going hug the creature, who didn't seem to care too much about it. Well, not until he saw Steven.

Once the two counterparts looked at the other's state, their hearts got filled by pain and sorrow. "He don't deserve this", both thought. 

Connie helped Steven stay on his feet, letting him lean on her to touch the monster's nose. It was scaley and cold.

"Pink, is that you? Whoa, I... I imagine what you've eating to be _this_ big, haha..." He laughed it off, trying to hold his tears. "Oh, Pink, I'm so sorry... Now I know... You aren't bad. I was bad for thinking it. You were just trying to do what was best for me..." It had a silence, and then he continued. "No, no, don't said that, you didn't made it to me, I did it to you, to myself." More silence. "Stop blaming you, I don't want you to..." He tried to wipe away the 'tears' of the creature, but oops, it was acid, so his hand got burned. Luckly, it wasn't a too bad burn, but Pink looked in horror at it, as if he was the one who choosed that his corrupted form should cry and drool acid. Steven waved his hands franticaly. "Nonono, it's okay! It's not your fault! Pink, just..." He knelt and put both of his hands on the creature's face, Connie doing the same with a encouraging warm smile. "Forgive me. Prove that you are good, and come back to us. It's okay if you don't want to be with me again but... you don't deserve to be like this. You don't deserve to love so blindly someone who doesn't gives you value. You deserve hapiness, Pink."

"So I'm not a mean guy?" The monster asked on his mind. He kissed his nose. 

"No. You are a good guy."

Pink smiled and closed his eyes. But then Steven started to panick.

"W-wait, Pink? Why... why aren't you replying anymore? Why you-...." His sobs got louder and louder, what only let the others more worried. "Pink! I Already said I don't hate you! Please asnwer me! Don't let go! Don't leave me again! D-don't..."

Then there was a blinding flash of light.

And everything was gone.


	15. You Are My Sunshine, My Only Sunshine

Strange.

She did it, didn't she?

Somehow Pink knew exactly what had happened, but was still confused.

He remembered everything about his mother (or it was himself, it was hard to know) and what she intended to do. She wanted to create life, but not like Homeworld, that, honestly, was more bad than good. She wanted to create something... something like the humans. Something that could _change._

He knew what she had to give up in order to do this. Gems couldn't get pregnant like human women, so she would need to give up of her physical form so the child could live. 

He just couldn't understand _what the hell_ was happening, what he was supposted to be, and why was him reffering himself as a he? Gems weren't suposted to use female pronouns?

Sobs. Cries. He knew these voices, but he wasn't suposted to. These wasn't his memories. He wasn't supposted to **have** memories. Not yet, at least.

Suddenly, the world became bright.

Four people looked back at him, their eyes filled with tears, on a bittersweet mix of grief and happiness. A star faded so other could shine.

"Hello, Steven." The only man of the group said, taking him on his arms, hugging him tight but also delicately. He could sense his joy. He could sense his sadness.

"W-wait, wouldn't the child be called Nora?" Said a short, purple person. As the other girls of the group, she was crying very much. Apparently was trying to be strong, since the other two wasn't able to form a word. The white one was crying like the world would end in two minutes.

"No, Amethyst, only if the child was a girl, and it is a boy." The man replied, wiping his tears.

He felt his hand moving to the man's beard. It was him, but also... someone else. Him -and this other person- laughed at the weird sensation the furry surfice provided. It was funny!

The man hugged him closer to his body and the taller gem-person carresed his hair.

He was still confused, but maybe it would be better after he got used to this.

* * *

Steven faced himself on the big, full-body mirror on the room him and his dad were lending. It was so fun to watch his reflection doing everything he did! Like he had a twin!

"Son, your bath will be ready in some minutes!" He heard his dad calling, and turned his tiny baby head to look at the figure of the man, seeming to be looking for something. "Now, were did I put that towel?" He said, using said towel to wipe the sweat on his forehead. His dad sweat a lot.

He turned back to the mirror so he could play with it some more, but now it was different... his reflection... had his reflection always been pink? 

In a minute of curiosity, he looked at himself. No, he wasn't pink. The mirror should be magic. Yes. Deffinitely it was the only logical explanation.

Even more curious about the secrets of the enchanted mirror, the little hybrid lifted his tiny hand. For the first time, his reflection seemed hesitant before repeating. Then the reflection blinked when he didn't.

What was happening to that mirror? Was it tired to imitate him?

His reflection tilted it's head. What was him thinking of? Then it joined their glowing hands and kissed them. When they opened them again, it had Steven gasping.

Flowers!

He clapped his hands in joy, observing amazed as his reflection did more tricks. He could watch it all day but soon his father picked him up to his bath.

"Okay, little rascal. Time to clean you up!" The man said in a cheerfull voice, tickling his baby tummy and making him laugh. Then he started pointing at the mirror, excited to show his discoverys with the magic object.

His reflection wasn't pink anymore.

"Yeah, it's a mirror. It's cool, isn't it?" Greg said, making a face that his reflection imitated immediately. No flowers. No magical tricks.

Steven never managed to make the magical mirror work again. And he forgot about it in a short period of time.

* * *

Pink still wanted to know. What was him doing there? What was his purpose? Why he-

Someone was crying. No, _he_ was crying. But why? He didn't had reasons to cry...

Then he realized: It was the child that he shared his body with. He knew he didn't liked the dark.

Everyday Greg would put them in the crib, they would sleep for one hour, them wake up, cry by the fear of darkness, and in about five minutes Greg would come back with a bottle of warmed milk, what would make them sleep again. It was routine. The man had tried to use nightlights, but it didn't worked.

Pink didn't like to see the human suffering. It made him sad. More then when it was _him_ suffering.

He wanted to do something about it. He wanted to see the human happy. Like when he made him laugh when they were playing with the mirror.

Maybe if the room wasn't so dark...

He made his gem pulse, and a soft pink light lit up the darkness. He felt the human stoping crying. He seemed... hooked to it.

The glow pulsed some more, every second making the human more and more calm, until he finally sleeped. 

Greg opened the door, only to see that his son was already fast asleep.

Then Pink finally understood... the human. The human was his purpose. Protecting him. Making him happy. No matter what. Whatever it tooks.

He closed his eyes, and allowed himself to get lost on the world of dreams too.

He never had felt himself so closer to his other half.

* * *

He never had felt himself so distant to his other half.

"Pink, you need to stop this!" Steven clenched his hands on his arms. 

Right, they were a monster. It's roars trembled the walls on the mindscape, making both know that it was breaking havoc outside. They had a mild perception of what it was doing, but none of them had full control over it.

"I-I... I can't..." Pink said, knowing that it would make his human half sad, but he couldn't lie.

In oposite of what he imaginated, his human half didn't get sad.

He got _mad._

"What you mean with can't?!" He let him go, a frown on his face. He was _counting_ that Pink would know what to do.

He was wrong.

"I tried to stop, b-but.. I don't know h-"

He got pushed backwards by the force of the impact. Holding his nose in pain, the gem looked at the human, his hand balled on a fist, dripping a dark pink liquid, his expression feracious. Then he looked at what he done, and his growl melted to absolute horror.

"Y-you... you hit me." Pink whispered in shock.

"N-no! I-I didn't- I didn't want to! I-I just... I just..." Steven tried to apologize, but it got cut out when he saw that Pink was smiling lightly. He started to laugh, low at first, but getting each time louder and louder and louder, until it turned into a almost demoniacal, insane, warped laugh.

"SO THAT'S WHAT YOU NEEDED TO BE HAPPY AGAIN? WHY HAVEN'T YOU SAID IT BEFORE?!" He laughed more and more in sick glee, starting to punch himself with all his strenght. Steven watched completaly paralyzed while "blood" dripped out of Pink's mouth and nose, each hit making him lose more his sanity.

"Stop!" The human finally acted, holding the gem's hands to prevent him to hurt himself more. 

Pink tilted his head, confused. "But you want to make me pay, don't you?" He gave sobbed laughs, his body trembling, it was hard to stay on his feet. "You don't love yourself anymore... y-you hate you gem side for don't let you be normal... you hate me..."

"P-Pink...I..." Steven tried to say something but nothing came to his mind. He needed to prove that it wasn't true, but how?

"But I know _one_ way to stop the monster." He whispered, pushing the human back. Before the boy could stop, Pink had punched his own gem. A disruption appeared and their connection started to break.

"NO!" He screamed in despair, and Pink sweetly carresed his face, starting to glitch.

"Don't worry. I'll take care of you until the end. And I'll garantee that I'll suffer the necessary pain to make you happy."

And it broke.

Pink held Steven's uncouncious, wounded body close, on a angle that they wouldn't see his broken gem. He refused to let go. At least the monster had stopped.

The human would wake up soon, he had sure. Until then, his gem would punnish him for being such a terrible counterpart. Oh, he couldn't wait to see the human's smile when he told how much he suffered, he was going to be so proud!


	16. Butterfly Effect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hm! Who should I make cry on this chapter? Pink? Steven? Connie? Greg? Some of the gems? The reader? Myself?  
> Oh, I know!  
> EVERYBODY! YAY!!

"Ah!" Steven gasped into counciousness, his memories fully restored, something heavy on his chest. "P...P...Pink?...Pink! You're alrigh-"

His voice died in his throat when he saw the gem's state... He wasn't a monster anymore, but his glitches were back and worse than ever, and he was so weak that he couldn't even sit by himself, making the human lay him on his lap.

He looked at the surroundings, and saw that they weren't in the Kindergarden anymore, it was... some kind of... pink realm... with butterflies... (Here Comes A Though starts playing in the background) and... and all the butterflies seemed to be only on Pink's side....

"Ha...ha...ha..." A hoarse, hurtfull voice vibrated on his chest. Pink tugged his shirt, wipping his tears on the fabric. "I-it's funny, i-isn't it? A-all this time I... I just wanted... I just wanted you to be happy... when we w-were kids... a-all you wanted was to be a hero... just like mom... and as you grew up... I started giving you powers but... it only frustaded you. Because your powers were weak, or it didn't work on the right time... it hurted me that I was hurting you. Then you started wanting answers... who really was Rose Quartz? Was her really the goddess everybody painted or was she a fraud? A really good actor? A really good liar? So I started giving the answers for you, but it turned out it was a mistake of mine, I-I only managed to let things worse for you. When we... when we separated for the first time, I was so focused on getting back to you. It didn't mater how much or who I hurted in the way, as long I got back to you and you was still alive. I expected you would accept me only for your sake, only because without me you would die, but then you smiled at me. You hugged me. And you laughed and laughed... and for the first time I really felt that I was doing my job right and I was truly glad for it... but two years later the problems started again. I tried to help you the best I could after the rejuvenator hit me, and I guess I wore out both of us in the process. And then your emotions felt a bit dangerous... I tried to help, making you stronger when you needed to, making you faster when you needed to, making you heavier when you needed to, but each time your feelings only got worse and I really didn't know what to do... my powers got out of control too and... and _that_ happened... And I thought that the only way was to breaking myself, but it only brought more problems... I guess it's me. _I_ am the problem. Maybe... maybe if it wasn't for me you would have the life you wanted... be a human and... maybe go to school, and don't be included on all that chaos... without me... you would really be happy..." The gem sobbed, a shaken smile on his face, the butterflies flying faster and somehow more... agressive.

Steven put a hand on his face, wipping out the gem's tears while holding his own. "P-Pink... why did... why did you do this all for me?" He wasked, his voice not wanting to come out.

Pink bit his lower lip in an (not successfull) effort to stop crying or at least avoid the tears that the next phrase would cause. "S-steven... s-someday you... you will... d-die, Steven. Y-you will be on a place w-where I c-can't follow... We... we will be separated forever... I'll be nothing different of the forced fusions, a incomplete shard of a gem... alone... with only memories to haunt me, and I... the least I can do is to make you happy while I can... before... b-before..." He clenched the human's shirt tighter and the butterfly flied in a tornado behind him, none of them daring to get on Steven's side. Pink's tears fell uncontrolably on the floor, so much that a little puddle formed, reflecting their crying faces on the shinny liquid. "I... I don't want to let go... I don't want to say goodbye..."

"Oh, P-Pink..." The human hugged the sobbing gem, rocking back and forth to help him to calm down. "We... we don't know what will happen when I'm gone... maybe you go with me, and this gem... maybe Mom come back... or will be someone entirely new... but either way, you can't keep hurting yourself to fufill what you think it will make me happy... I'm sorry if you felt that way, that you felt you needed to torture yourself to make me smile... I don't hate you, Pink... I addmit I was unfair with you... all that time I acted like it was my powers who caused my troubled emotions, not the oposite... and I made you think you had the blame. Now tell me... what would you make _you_ happy?"

"If you're happy, I'm happy, Steven."

"No, Pink, please tell me... what do _you_ want?"

Pink got silent for some minutes, calculating. He wanted Steven to be happy, and the only way to do it was to tell what he wanted, but if Steven did what he wanted it wouldn't make Steven happy and is Steven wasn't happy he wouldn't be happy...

Steven wanted a answer. He couldn't lie. He couldn't delay it forever. He whispered on a voice that nobody could hear. Steven frowned. He _deffinitelly_ wasn't making things easy.

"Seriously, Pink, tell me."

He finally gave up. "I... I want to... r-rest... just... for... a minute..."

"What didn't you said earlier? You can rest now, just sleep on me and-"

"B-but then you... you would... you would need to face... _them..."_

Steven didn't knew who him was talking about, but if _they_ were making Pink suffer that much, they would need to hear what he thought about it.

"Pink, please... We are a team. If you keep handing all of it alone it will really make bad for you... Your gem isn't even cracked and still your form is glitching. _You_ are broken, Pink. Are you keeping the butterflies from me, aren't you? You need help. Just let me take this weight out of you." The human soflty put his hand on Pink's eyes. The gem got quiet and for a while they didn't move, until the hand was removed and revealed that the pink being had lost for the tiredness and was sleeping (despite gems don't need to sleep), one hand still holding Steven's shoulder like it was an anchor to make him feel safe.

Steven didn't had time to think it was cute because the butterflies started to fly wild and... to form... two bodies?

And he finally knew who was _them..._

A huge, angered teenager, and a child who was always crying.

Somehow he knew their "names"...

_Big and Small._

Steven never swore, but FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

He looked at Pink's sleeping face, so in peace on his well-deserved rest.

He needed to do it for him. He knew... he knew it had been that two who were tormenting his gem side. It wasn't Pink's battle. All this time Pink was fighting a battle which wasn't his, so Steven, the one who really needed to fight, could keep hiding like a coward...

"It's okay, Pink, just rest. You've done much more than enough." He moved them gem to a position were he would be more comfortable, then looked at the terrible duo, sighing. "I got this."

* * *

He opened his eyes, being greeted by the vision of everybody looking at him, tears on their eyes, and felt Connie wipping one of his own. His first reaction was to lift his shirt to see if...

It was there. 

It was there!

Lion rubbed his furry head on his face, and he hugged the animal, sinking his crying face on his fur, sobbing, laughing, sobbing, laughing...

The Kindergarden never seemed so beautifull.


	17. Everything on the right place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ooof! Sorry for the delay!! I'm was busy this week a d having lots of head aches!

"So, let me get it straight. Your corruption caused an malfunction on your gem counterpart, making him adopt an self-destructive behavior because he thought it was the only way to make you happy." Resumed Connie, her sword cutting a training dummy in half with a impressive ease. Just because the gems and humans lived in harmony now it didn't meant they could let their guard down, as the "Spinel-Incident" proved.

"Basically." Steven sighed, observing her from the top of one of the giant rock fingers in front of the temple. "I got so angry at him that I end up "programing" him to cause self-harm, even if he didn't deserve".

"And... Is him okay now?"

"Yeah, he is recovering slowly and the glitches stopped, but I'm avoiding using my powers to don't force him. He need to rest."

"It seems appropiate." She said, taking a towel and a bottle of water from a near rock, to dry her sweat and hydrate. "But it isn't your fault neiter. Your childrenhood was... Such a dare. Most of the kids would have broke much earlier. You are either very strong or really good at putting other people's problems in front of yours. I would say both." She gave a little wink at him.

"Heh, I guess... Uh, Con, I've thinking..." The Now-Fixed-Hybrid jumped from the finger, this time not using his floating powers. "I... When Pink fully recover and I solve my "internal questions", maybe... I could get on the run, like dad did, to... find myself. I mean, I have been helping people chase their dreams for so long and... I kinda forgot to chase my own. I don't even... Have dreams to chase, at least, not now..." He blushed at the memory of the proposal fail "and maybe it will help me, see other scenaries and people... What you... What you think?"

She got quiet for a while, and right when he thought she would react negatively, she smiled and put her hands on his shoulders. "This is a great idea! I'll miss you, right, but I have sure it will be very good for you. And... Did you talked with the gems?"

"No, n-not yet... Actually you're the first person who is knowing about my plans... I'll talk with them later... And decide the other details too. It's not something imediate..."

Her phone ringed, indicating that it was time for her to get home. She answered, talked quiclky with her father, and then hung up. "He's waiting me at Big Donnut. Well, I see you later." She said, kissing him twice on his lips.

"Why was that for?" He giggled, blushing redder than a ruby.

"One for Human you, and one for Pink." She smirked, giving a friendly punch on his shoulder and leaving.

* * *

It was one of that days that he needed an nap. Very much.

In other ocasion, he would fear his strange dreams or recurring nightmares, but this time he knew exaclty the dream he would have.

When he closed his eyes, he was already there.

A pretty, fairytale- like forest, with shinning flowers ,a crystalline waterfall and sky painted on a beautifull sunset waited for him.

He walked to the waterfal. On it's edge, a sleeping gem rested on a soft bed, his fingers sligtly touching the water bellow as he was laid with his chest down.

The human sat on his side on the bed, stroking slowly the gem's hair, garnishing it with a pink hibiscus.

"Steveeeen..." The gem suddenly groaned, stirring and opening a eye to his visitor.

"O-oh! Sorry, Pink, I didn't want to wake you..." He apologised, before the pink being yanked him to lean on the bed too. "What are you intending to?" He asked, not hiding his smile.

"Snuggle with me." The gem whined, putting a rose on the human's hair and hugging him, shoving his face on the crook of his neck.

"Someone's very clingy today." He laughed.

"Hmm-hmm." Pink answered absently, too focused on hug the human the closer he could from his body. "Can we sit?"

"Sure." With a flick of his fingers, the bed turned into a wooden bench, with both already sitting on it. Pink was still envolved on his blanket, his head laying on Steven's shoulder.

"Thanks, I was starting to feel limp, I've been on the horizontal for too much."

"Sounds like 'Pink-People-Problem', heheh. So... You're feeling better now?"

"Yes. Thanks to you."

"Thanks to me you got defective to begin with."

"No... Don't blame yourself, I forbid you. Why everytime we meet needs to be so troublesome?"

"Y-you're right. Let's just relax then."

And then both boys only stood there, looking at the beautifull landscape, enjoying each other's company.

* * *

"Okay... First day on the run. It's not... is not the first time I sleep outta home, right, is alright!" Steven said, putting the suitcase on the bed of the hotel, sitting on it as well while facing the white wall. He had gained a good amount of money from his birthday, and a ocassion two years ago when he changed the tires of a very rich man. He had said it was nothing at all but the man inssited to take that as a reward, so he could aford the trip across the country.

He was trying to don't think about how much he was missing everybody, it was the first day and he was still sensible about it.

So...

His gem started to glow.... intense and blinding light that could burn anyone's eyes just to stare at it for a second.

And there, with no pain at all, they were separated again.

"P-Pink? Why you-" The human asked in shock before the pink being grabbed him on tight hug.

"You're sad." Pink replied softly.

"Y-yea, but... what have we talked about going out of your way to do something for my sake?"

"...You're not the only one who needs a hug."

"A-ah. Sorry..." Steven said, hugging his other half, letting the tears cross his face. "I... I'm just missing Garnet, Pearl, Amethyst, dad, and all the others... It will be a long trip and we've never been apart for so much time, and I really don't like being alone."

"Alone?" Pink repeated, the word sounding strange coming out of his mouth.

"I-... I didn't meant like that..."

Pink used his thumb to wipe one tear from his human's face and licked it out of his finger. "You're never alone, my Steven." He lowered his head a bit to the human's shoulder and started tickling his sides."As long I exists I'll always be by you side! I'm never going to leave you again!"

"N-no-no! D-don't tickle me like that I- will always be with you too!" He contorted and squirmed in laughs, and then he blushed bright red when Pink started licking his neck and his hands stopped the previous motions to dance sweetly on his skin, causing goosebumps on his spine. "A-ah... what you..."

Pink moved his hand to palm a... very especific place.

"You're in heat again."

"W-what- PINK!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup. I really suck at backgrounds.  
> So! *Slaps knee* the last story-chapter ended! But the next is basicaly only a lot of draws and stuff. I-I mean... you don't need to see it if you don't wanna....


	18. Bonus Chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well guys, I'm very sorry for not posting earlier but because of the maintenace I decided to wait so it won't have any problem.  
> Welp! Time for the last chapter! as promised, we'll have some fanarts! (not very good but I tried :,) ) And I prepared a surprise!!  
> And the surprise is....  
> My real name isn't Amber. I choosed because of the gem amber. So my name is a fusion of S.U and Harry Potter fandoms.
> 
> Nah! That wasn't the surprise! The true surprise is......  
> TWO ANGSTY-FLUFFY ONE-SHOTS!  
> The first one happens while Steven is in coma, and the second is when Pink is in coma (with just that you can have sure it will be angsty).  
> Welp, I hope you enjoy!

I don't know why I did it. Guess I wanted to join two of my favorite characters in one (Yes I love Chara they weren't evil FIGHT ME).

Steven's nightmare from chapter 10 :P

And this is a draw of the first surprise one-shot, that I like to call...

**Addiction.**

"Hey guys, I brought don-"

The girl's phrase got cut by the scene: the house was a mess, and there was drops of a weird green liquid splated there and then. A metalic noise came from the kitchen. She was feeling like she had fell on a horror movie, but if her friends were in danger, she needed to act.

Carefully, she aproached and...

Pure terror washed over her.

Bottles of a misterious medicament fallen on the floor, beside a gem with a knife on his hand. His arms and cheek were cut and dripping a dark substance, from his mouth dropped the same green liquid from before and his eyes were on a pink-green shade. He held a bottle of medicament on his free hand, and she could see some few pills left there.

The box fell with a **thud!** when she run to the diamond, knelting beside him and taking the knife out of his hand, replacing by her own.

"Pink, what happened?!" She asked, embracing his shaking figure. " What are all these bottles?!" 

"I... I've been sad about Steven... One day I was walking alone, trying to get my head out of it... And on a dark alley... This guy... He said he could give me something to make me feel better... It was a gift at first, but then he started to ask money for it... It didn't really made me feel better, but I just couldn't stop..." He said, seeming dizzy and hurt.

Reality hit her and had her gasping in horror. "P-Pink... You... You've doing _drugs?!"_

 _"_ I wanted to be better for him, Connie. If I was better he would heal faster... And I... I just... I j-just want t-to make h-him happy..." He sobbed and sank his face on his shoulder, green tears wetering the fabric of her shirt. She got scared, it was clear that the medicament caused a terrible effect on gems, and she didn't know how much it lasted and what more it caused. 

"Hey... C-calm down... I..."

Thanks the stars, salvation came in the form of a trio of gems that warped exactly on that moment and got surprised with the scene.

"What is happening?" Garnet asked with a worried frown behind her glasses.

"A man used Pink's weaknesses to trick him and poisoned him with drugs!" Connie said, still holding the crying diamond to shoote him.

"That jerk! That I... Don't... Know...Personaly... But I'm sure he is a jerk!" Growled Amethyst.

"But why Pink did it to himself?!" Pearl ran to the duo, trying to help but the pink being only pushed her away."

"He's very hurt by Steven's condition."

The three gems looked at each other with concern. They... Didn't know his situation was that bad.

"Maybe Rose's water can cure him..." The human said, and the others took the cue, getting back to the warp and going immediatelly to the lady's sanctuary.

But she still needed to calm Pink down, and this was the real dare. Calm a powerfull, distressed light being could go really, really bad.

But... If it was Steven the rot of the problem...

"C'mon, Pink... Just follow me... Can you do it?"

It took a while, but she managed to get the poor geem upstairs. As you would expect, at the sight of the uncouncious human, Pink's sorrow only increased. And it only got harder to move him.

Until...

A sound... A lovely, amazing sound that to him was like a siren song. He felt his members going numb and he lost any will to struggle or cry. Nothing in the world sounded better to him than Steven's heartbeat. 

He simply laid there, quiet, and let the other gems cure his overdose and cuts with the water. After a while, the gems let them alone to... Solve something.

"Well, I'll take a chair to sit beside you two and..." The girl made a attempt to go to the other side of the room, but got stoped when Pink grabbed her arm, looking at her with neutrality but... something else... "huh? What you- Oh, you want me to...?"

His eyes said everything.

She slowly laid beside him, still holding his hand, laying her head on his pillow while his was still on the other's chest, making him go up and down with the soft breathing.

They stood there silently, just looking at each other's eyes. It almost seemed like they couldn't avert their eyes from the other, quietly sharing their wishes for their loved human to wake up soon. Then...

"Maybe... you should take some fresh air. We could... get out for a while..." She asked, lowly. He only kept staring her with that trademark neutral expression. of his. "Sorry, I... I shouldn't have asked that."

"It's okay." He said, getting up. Was him going to do... what she was thinking he was going to do? "But just a little."

And there they were, sitting on the roof, feeling the cold breeze of the night.

"The stars are shiny tonight." She said, trying to sound interesting and avert his mind from his problems, just a bit.

Him, who where observing the moviment of the dark waves crashing on the sea, turned his look to the sky. "Certainly.. Um... Connie?"

"Yes, Pink?" She asked, turning to him. He seemed... nervous?

"You... you said that you loved me too, right?"

"Uh, yes, I did..."

"Would it be too much if I...asked you to... to..."

Somehow, she understood, and she couldn't help but smile. She didn't know if it was a side effect of his overdose, but still, she found herself softly kissing him.

He blushed madly and looked away. "T-thanks... f-for everything you ever did to us. You're a very special human."

"Heh, I was just taking care of my friends." She smiled, and they got back to looking at the stars, their finger touching slightly.

"... I love you too."

And on a less important matter, the Crystal Gems beated the living crap out of the drug seeler, sent him to jail and took Pink's money back. Happy ending!

**"Can I have this dance?"**

Pink asks, holding a hand to the human to take. He shyly obeys, taking the gem's shinning hand and dancing along on a slow pace. Steven let his counterpart guide him on a dive, admiring how the beach sand didn't enter on their black-ties (or pink-tie on the gem's case.) They moved gracefully for such irregular surface, gigling and showing affection to each other, even giving a little kiss when Pink pulled Steven closer after a spin.

"I have a surprise." Pink whispered with a smile.

"Oh?" Steven asked, curious.

Pink made him spin again, this time making his partner get away, but still holding his hand. And then Steven saw something he surely should have seen before...

His counterpart was smiling crazily, his eye black and dripping a dark liquid, but what made the human's blood freeze was that attached to his gem, there was a strange device that he immediately realized it was a bomb, and Pink was holding a little control on his hand, his thumb just about to press the big red button.

"Do you want to see some fireworks?"

* * *

He woke immediately, gasping.

"Geez, that was quite a bad dream." He said, rubbing his eyes and waiting his body to stop shivering. "I swear, this gem will be the end of m-"

Then soft, ragged sobs were heard in the silent night.

He looked to his side to see the very real Pink, crying on his sleep. He was trembling and whispering the human's name like a prayer on a hoarse, weak voice.

"P-Pink?" The boy asked, in worries for his gem part. He didn't know the gem would have dreams on his letargic state, but it was clear that it was what was happening.

"S-s-steven... I-I'm s-so sorry... I didn't... I didn't want to kill you... It was... It was a accident, I swear!..." Pink sobbed in undescribable pain and grief to the bleeding, wailing ghost of his beloved counterpart, unaware thet the real one was there by his side, much alive and looking at him in pity. "Please... Please forgive me... I... I will do whatever you want! I'll be whatever you want! I will... I will even... Yes, this... This is fair, o-of course... Then... To prove my love and loyalty... I'll shatter myself right here, right now."

The world seemed to slow down as the sleeping gem held a fist in the air, ready to repeat the scene that had been playing on Steven's brain on loop since he wake, until the human grabbed his hand.

"Pink, don't do it, stop!" He exclaimed, and this was the moment he saw it. A lot of scars on the gem's arm, that the crazy diamond apparently refused to cure to be a constant reminder. Pink had been cutting himself. The fact hit Steven like a metal baseball bat on the stomach. After a while of strugle, by a lucky coincidence Pink's ear ended up touching Steven's chest, making him hear the wonderfull heartbeats that never failed to calm him down. The human observed as the gem slowly stopped trying to free his arm and laid his head further to hear more of the sound that was the prettiest music to his ears, however, still with a stream of tears on his face. The young hero started to stroke the magical being's hair, holding him so close that semed that if he let go Pink would immediately shatter in a thousand pieces. " Shhh... Is all okay... I'm here... I'm here for you... So please don't do that again, I beg you."

"I'm a waste of time, Steven." Came the whisper pressed on his chest, of a gem still deep in the dreamland. "I'm nothing, nothing more than a monster that destroys anything on it's way."

"No no no... Don't say that... Please, you need a rest. just focus on my arms surrounding you. think on them like your anchor. I'm not going to let you go again." He said, his breath calming down slowly and making the tears of his other half dry. He sighed.

"Why do you keep doing this?  
Why keep hurting yourself over and over for someone who won't live even a eight of your lifespan?  
Why do you keep doing this, light dancer  
Dancing a non-existing song that will never end  
Chaining yourself on autuum leaves  
Wouldn't be easier to only let me fade?  
Wouldn't hurt less to only let go? Wouldn't your star shine brighter without my clouds? Why does you keep writing love songs with your blood?  
Just... Let me know... Why? Is this narcisism? Or is ir legit? Are you chasing a impossible romance?  
Mysterious light dancer, just don't forget, you who thinks you only live to serve  
You have no idea how much you're loved."

"Stop...zzzz... being dramatic...." Pink said, grabbing his "pillow" 's shirt. "You know the answer."

The human smiled and held him even closer. "Yes, I know. Just... get better soon, please. I need you here."

And more draws!!

Just some doodles ...

Okay, why did I do that, gosh?!

Da Winter Ball :)

Aaaaand just because I'm stupid :P this is a "comercial" of Gem Boy and Butterfly Girl :> It's a traditional draw I spent THREE DAYS DOING

My gemsona Cat's Eye Rubellite, the chaotic neutral cat girl, meow :3

And a special thanks to you!!!!

**** ~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over, isn't it, isn't it, isn't it oveeeeeer?  
> Well guys, what can I say? Very, very thank you for reading, for all the kudos and the sweet comments, right at a time that I was doubting myself. You inspired me to keep moving and make my best!  
> It's a bit sad to end a story I put my heart so deep in, but...  
> Anyways, now I will come back at my SVTFOE x SU crossover, and I'm even thinking in doing something on the Undertale fandom...  
> Thank you so, so much for reading!  
> See ya next time :D !


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